The plague of self-doubt and how to manage it

Lately I've been feeling alot of self doubt. It's been a week of change, learning new things and facing some of my fears. When your inadequacies loom large, then your confidence wavers. 

I've had to take a break, step away from everything and recharge. Books, a movie and enjoying the spring antics of the animals has helped. Sleep has been a great healer. 

It's been important to remind myself of my accomplishments in my life and all that I have achieved throughout this period of self doubt. 

I had considered writing up a list of all the great things about myself. It seemed like it might be something that might be useful against the monster in my head. I didn't end up doing that, but I have done it before when I was feeling very low. 

People talk about courage and bravery with what I am doing. I am just muddling through and hoping for the best. At the same time, I now see that the skills and experience I've accumulated over the years have meant I am better equipped to handle it all. 

It's a funny thing to be under the cloud of self-doubt but then when the sun starts to shine down again, you settle back into the comfortableness of knowing who you are. 

Be kind to yourself. That is what we need to remember. The voice of self doubt is not the compassionate friend you need to be to yourself. Those thoughts aren't the sort of thing you would say to a friend or loved one. It's important to remember that when you the self-doubting becomes loud.  

Self doubt is challenging and can fuel anxieties, but it is manageable and there are lots of people, tools & tricks out there to help you. 

Even after you feel like you are managing to deal with the self doubt, you might wobble. A success mindset is another important tool which focuses on optimism and a long term perspective. 

Other articles you might find interesting on self-doubt and a success mindset are:

• How To Beat Self-Doubt And Stop Selling Yourself Short
  
• When Self-doubt Consumes You – Identify and Stop It
  
• 13 Powerful Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt 
  
• How Self-Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)
• Why do I always doubt myself in nearly every way?
  
• 7 Mindsets of Highly Successful (And Happy) People
  

Line of Duty Season 6 Finale reflects how I'm traumatised by 2020

 "When did we stop caring about honesty and integrity?"

- Line of Duty Season 6 

Sometimes I feel I'm so traumatised by 2020 - the deaths, government corruption and suffering that I can't face the news. There is no end in sight yet. There is no real solution or heroes. That is what Jed Mecurio's record breaking tv series Line of Duty Season 6 represents. 

I came to the Line of Duty party late. It's been running for 10 years. I've watched all six seasons on BBC iplayer in the last few months, mostly watching one season within one or two days - a rare accomplishment for anything to hold my attention in this way. 

It is a show about power, the real life loneliness in this world and our imperfections, dramatised in a fictional police anti corruption high speed chase versus corporate document evidentiary lense. 

This is reality - one minute we're high and the next we are inundated with the tedium but necessary world of offices, bureaucrcacy, regulations and incompetence. 

Season 6 of Line of Duty centred on the death of a journalist, the coverup and the possible demise of Anti-Corruption Unit 12. Now have a think about the media and journalists in the last 12 months. Also think about the coverups and demise of so many things we are living with. 

I immerse myself in nature, beautiful images and frivolity to balance all the ugliness of this world. 

It's the only way I can resume as a creative person, to write and continue when at times I cannot understand what has happened, why it is happening and not feel like everything is disintegrating into a bleak dystopia. 

To say I'm traumatised by 2020 seems a bit melodramatic. Yet the thing is, I was, am and everyone was and is too. 

Line of Duty provided an escape and keeps the cracks from growing too wide. It makes you want to believe there are honest people fighting for what is right despite all that is thrown at them. 

It also reminds me that it is the journey that matters, not a single monent, or season end. 2020 is just one episode of my life. 2021 is a new season of challenges and stories. 

I want to focus on the positives that have developed. I want to see a brighter future. I want the glass is half full. Whoever's job it is to fix our broken democracy must stop being incompetent and get on with it. 

Was Line of Duty's season 6 finale a success? 

A writer and artist is brave to step away from crowd pleasing and formulas. To stay true to a story, characters and the fictional world is golden. To make a statement with greater deeper messages and provoke us to think is genius. 

The final hour might not deliver the neat tidy bow, nor the explosive dramatic action, but it does reveal more and still keeps the audience hanging. People are talking about the show and will watch a season 7. If that's not success, then what is?