Money is one of our biggest stresses. It can make us feel ill, impact our mental health, affect relationships, reduce our quality of life, increase crime, compromise our values and diminish our contribution to society.
When you've worked hard all your life, and the government caused our hardship - I blame Truss and Kwateng for the price we've had to pay - I wonder why only 6 months is available to alleviate what is going to be falling off a cliff edge.
You're only given a short rope to climb out of a deep hole. The thing is you're not looking for a free ride, you'll still pay off your mortgage, but all your savings are being taken away, the banks are making billions, the politicians have all their perks, second jobs and blame everyone else. It's a cash flow issue.
18 or 24 months of being pushed to breaking point is no way to live. This is a country which favours the rich and lives off the back of the poor. That is the image perpetuated now.
You're basically fed up. It's a system that lacks any kind of reasonableness and continues to erode trust in government.
No one calls out this system. No main stream media tackles the heart of the problem. It is a broken country we live in. Capitalism and democracy are failing, not that the alternatives are better.
Interest rates are killing us. Their killing small businesses, everyday people and economies. The rich are getting richer but in the long term it will be to the detriment of all.
There is a helplessness. I see it everywhere - online and in real life. This video from BBC question time from last year gives you a sense of it.
Where is the vision, sensibility and humanity? Where are the great leaders? Where is the world going and what can we do about it?
The 1 step backwards to see the 100 steps you've taken forward - the glass is never full. There's should have, could have, would have.
So tonight I did the right thing and showed compassion & sensitivity. I have mixed feelings about the situation because it has made me doubt my way forward.
Did I make a mistake? Perhaps. But then we all make mistakes. It's not the end of the world. It just means we learn hopefully from it, and are wiser in our decisions going forward.
So the story is that I agreed something with someone. After doing it, they rescinded on the agreement. Fortunately it wasn't a huge amount of work, but still it was a precious few hours I could have spent on something else. I guess it makes a great anecdote to tell, one day.
It was essentially a goodwill job for no payment. Honestly, why I do these, I don't know. It really isn't worth it.
I guess I can't help but feel annoyed, naturally so. I won't make a big deal out of it. That's not my style. Does it make me weak? Is it frustrating trying to be a good person and not telling them this isn't ideal?
The thing is, now I think that I no longer can move forward with other agreements I've made, as I've set the precedent they can rescind too. It's just become a waste of my time.
What are the positive?
1. It could have been worse.
2. I haven't really lost anything significant.
3. Now I know agreements with this person are no longer credible.
It confirms my hesitancy to move into this type of work. I took a risk and it didn't pay off today, but it is a useful example of what I can do.
The reality is that the world is moving faster than many people are prepared for. They aren't able to cope with these changes. It's OK. I guess for my own sanity, I need to be aware of this as it can result in time wasting. I understand their point of view. It doesn't make me feel better though. As well, I can't sleep now because of it, which is even more annoying.
I just needed to vent. I have to let it out, send it out and make my peace with it. Now back to trying to go to sleep.
Switzerland's biggest bank, UBS, is buying Credit Suisse in an emergency rescue deal, but what makes it significant is that this story is a part of a larger narrative of financial market panic.
Credit Suisse Group AG is a global investment bank and financial services firm founded in Zurich in 1856. UBS will pay more than $3 billion and assume up to $5.4 billion in losses.
The slow demise of Credit Suisse culminating in the merger will not surprise many people. The FT - Clock ticks for Credit Suisse video provides useful background, contextualising it's downfall.
All of this is reminiscent of Lehman's collapse and the Bank of America / Merrill Lynch merger in the financial crisis more than a decade ago. History repeats itself, despite changes in financial regulation and "lessons learned."
What does this mean for the man on the street?
Share prices will continue to fluctuate. The economy is spiralling. Jobs are at risk. More businesses will fail.
This is not a ripple. The collapse of Credit Suisse has vast implications, not to mention impacting the fragile foundation everything sits upon - confidence - which is crumbling.
UBS' involvement stems the tsunami but the rain is coming and it will continue in a bleak and depressing way.
What can individuals do?
Delay major investments. Cash flow is key in these difficult times. Try not to raid the rainy day funds and top up where possible.
Those already struggling should seek help from charities, friends and family. Share your stories with news outlets & social media to put pressure on governments to help with electricity & rising costs, because they aren't doing enough.
Recession
Whether we technically have a recession doesn't matter. Expect revisions to growth forecasts following this Credit Suisse saga. Times will be tough. Be kind and compassionate to others. Realise that this has physical and mental effects on everyone, no matter what their circumstances.
Health and Happiness
In economic downturns, it can be hard to focus on health and happiness. It is probably more important than ever.
The standard food and fitness advice prevails. It's easy to deprioritise and let stress overwhelm us. I highly recommend mindfulness and finding free activities that help you to relax.
Happiness can be found in simple things - a walk, a conversation with someone or listening to your favourite song. Incorporate these into your routine and do something everyday as being happy is a matter of practice, practice and practice.
This morning, I read a summary of the Depp v Heard defamation trial: the entertainment story that has come up in casual conversation and zoom calls for weeks because everyone is aware, if not reading, following or opining on the subject of domestic abuse, dirty laundry, liars, #metoo and every other angle they can consider.
I confess I was a huge Johnny Depp fan as a teen and young adult. He seemed like a true artist in indy roles, but not interested in fanning the flames of stardom, rather shy and just kind of cool but not arrogant. Johnny Depp bought fans pints in the pub, played the guitar with kids who were waiting for their parents on set and he dressed up as a pirate in children's hospitals. Depp rushed his sick child to Great Ormond St. He cared about people.
Furthermore, I must confess I have never been a fan of Heard. I didn't see her appeal or think she was interesting in any way. I saw the Depp-Heard marriage as an older man going through a mid-life crisis. He shouldn't have left Vanessa Paridis and his kids. Just another cliche, I thought. A family man, devoted to his girlfriend and their kids is sexy. Insecure Johnny Depp, chasing youth, getting high and no longer doing any indy films is lame. That was one of the many reasons that ended the appeal of Johnny Depp for me.
Image: Royal Courts of Justice by Mahosadha Ong
Johnny Depp's 2020 UK Libel Court Case (The Sun Newspaper)
Nevertheless, I consumed the 2020 libel court case in London like I was gorging at a buffet. I even bothered with some of the court transcripts to explore some of the finer details of the case. It was a great escape from the horrors of the pandemic and lockdowns.
The Sun newspaper called Depp a "wife beater." The UK judge concluded Heard was to be believed more than Depp as a witness, and ruled against Depp. He concluded the article was "substantially true" and 12 of the 14 alleged incidents of domestic violence occurred.
Libel
What struck me about this case was that a newspaper could make a claim and splash a headline accusing a man of being an abuser, but at trial, the judge considers facts the newspaper did not know at the time.
So I can make a statement today which I know may be false, but so long as in the future, I can prove it is largely true, I am innocent. It means I can take a gamble with someone's reputation. That is troubling for all of us. It provides much greater power to newspapers and sensationalist headlines.
Perhaps that has always been the case with libel. Thirty years ago this might have been fine. The internet was not yet in full swing. We relied on newspapers and magazines only. Judgments weren't made based on limited information and the public didn't have a 2 second attention span.
The law has gone in the wrong direction
I do not believe a newspaper should be allowed headlines or articles based on speculation. We need a higher standard from our media, especially when it comes to someone's reputation. In today's culture of social media, we have too much mud slinging and nastiness. The media cannot contribute to this without sufficient evidence. Otherwise, how can we trust them as a source of information?
Image: Graffiti by Ran Berkovich
What do we believe?
What also struck me in this case was that one witness who had been a friend or makeup artist of Heard, said she had been a victim of domestic violence. She had confided in Heard. Heard's account then used the same story and words of her friend when she told her story. It cast doubt in my mind about Heard's credibility. I realised I did not want to believe Depp was an abuser. However, I also did not want to think Heard could lie about being a victim.
The judge chose to believe Heard more than Depp. I was not in the court room. He was. BUT, he also has his biases too.
Interestingly, it seems this same testimony was not put forward in the US case - either because it was not strong enough evidence, it was considered less credible or it was not admissible.
The London case was Depp v a newspaper. The American case is Depp v Heard. It is a she said - he said case. The only biases and opinion that matters in this case will be the jury's.
Except for the court of public opinion, but I'll write about that later.
The US Defamation Case (Washington Post Open Editorial by Amber Heard)
I've watched snippets of live testimony, read several articles and given more thought to the US case than I actually have time for.
In many ways, I'm writing this blog post to figure out what my verdict is. I don't know what to believe or who to believe. This big beautiful world we live in is full of contradictions, misinformation and confusion. The Depp v Heard trial reflects that.
Abuse
Both Depp and Heard are lying or reflecting on a version of their truth that may not be entirely accurate. The couples' therapist said they both abused each other, though Heard initiated it more. What does abuse mean? Was it physical, verbal or both? If Depp was just physically defending himself because Heard initiated, does that still make him an abuser?
Other than the couple's therapist, Depp's team did not have any other domestic abuse experts. Does that mean Depp wasn't really a victim of domestic abuse? I don't know. It could be for any number of reasons.
Kate Moss' testimony was only 3 minutes. There are legal reasons why some questions could not be asked or why she could not say some things.
Image: by Colin Davis
Fault
In any relationship, both parties are at fault. No one is completely innocent. In a domestic violence case, both can be victims and abusers. Historically the narrative has always been one victim and one abuser.
Where there are drugs, alcohol and mental health issues involved, as is the case with both parties here, recollections may vary.
Heard has video recordings. Depp also sent text messages to friends making some heinous suggestions about Heard. They are abhorrent and shatter the nice guy image he has crafted.
Audio recordings of Depp include him saying to Heard:
"Shut the f*** up ... don't f***** pretend to be authoritative with me. You don't exist."
In a text message, Depp writes "let's drown her before we burn her."
Depp has apologised, dismissing words and actions as humour. It is evidence like this which adversely affects Depp's credibility.
On a Graham Norton show, Depp appeared to be under the influence of something. His behaviour was odd and Dame Judi Dench looked uncomfortable. It bothered me long afterwards and I even googled it to discover according to ladbible, others had also wondered was he drunk or high?
Mid-life crisis?
Whether this was the drugs, Amber Heard, his mid-life crisis, or a combination of all of these and more, who knows, but he seems to be a man who is deeply unhappy.
Depp was a man who preferred his privacy. But now, he has opened himself up to the media circus. Stories about severed fingers and writing with blood on the wall - it sounds like a bad horror story.
Depp says the trial is to defend his name. I suspect it is because he has become accustomed to a lifestyle and seeks the big pay packets from Hollywood. He fell in love with the glory of Pirates of the Carribean.
The reports of wild spending, substance abuse, bad behaviour on set, costing studios money because shooting was delayed, requiring ear pieces because he doesn't learn lines and crazy costly demands for perks do not paint a flattering picture of a humble down-to-earth nice guy.
I felt he became a sell out. Instead of pursuing the art and being an actor, he was a performer churning out movies. He no longer had any interest in indy films. It was just about the money. Sure, enjoy buying islands and flying in private jets, but was everything you used to do - the decent artistic guy, was that all just a lie?
As he grew older, he enjoyed the attention of a young woman, ie Amber Heard. He turned away from Vanessa Paridis and the simple life they built.
Perhaps he blamed Heard for this. Or maybe he has always had an unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol. The stable marriage and children with Paridis did not bring out the extremism that Heard did.
Depp is imperfect. Did he throw things and show his temper? Probably. Did he cause bruises to Heard? Possibly.
There's an audio recording where Heard admits to hitting Depp. In another, she mocks any claim Depp might make that he is a victim of domestoc violence.
Did Heard incite Depps behaviour? Probably sometimes. Has she exaggerated anything? Probably. Is she a victim? I don't know.
Depp calls Heard a:
"Gold digging, low level, dime a dozen, mushy, pointless dangling overused flashy fish market. "
Heard after alleged incidents professes love and her text messages suggest she was not abused. This is not necessarily indicative that abuse did not happen. Maybe she is a gold digger. Maybe she has spun some lies and faked photographs. That does not mean Depp is not an abuser. This is a strategy using tropes about a character type we do not like. It influences us to emphathise less with a woman. But also, applying this strategy does not mean Depp is an abuser. His legal defence team is using any and all tools to help their client.
Is Depp an abuser? A jury might conclude he is.
Either way, both Depp and Heard seem like they need alot of help. They are damaged individuals. Any breakup can get ugly. Horrible words and actions are said in the heat of the moment behind closed doors. Violence by men and women can easily happen.
Image: by Brad Lloyd
Happiness and Moving On
Depp's Instagram is about his music and truth. He feels his truth must come out. Music provides him with solace and helps ease his pain. The court case has made him clean up and he doesn't appear to be under the influence of his addictions.
Heard has had a baby and is beginning a new life. Depp needs to move on too. Perhaps this trial will help him to do that.
If I was on the jury, I would not want either of them to win. Both are guilty and both should not receive money from the other. When it comes to the law though, I suspect that Depp may by definition be an abuser so the defamation case may not succeed.
However, like the UK case, this is based on facts now in evidence. The truth is a defence.
Also, Heard's 2018 Washington Post article, which is the subject of this case, is carefully worded. She said I am
"a public figure representing domestic abuse"
Juries aren't predictable. They are driven by emotion, beliefs and bias. Whatever decision by law they should make might not matter if you have one juror who dissents.
Image: by Venti Views
Why does this case matter?
It's not just a divorce case. It's not just entertainment. This isn't a reality tv show.
Celebrities and public relation teams are watching and learning. We will see more court cases where the legal system is used to help someone's brand. It used to be we did not air our dirty linen. Our private lives remained private. This case opens the door even more widely to a culture where we overshare, we let the public scrutinise intimate details of our lives and it encourages the media to do so too, because that's what the public wants.
Real domestic violence victims will fear how they will be treated if they come forward. Any victim, woman or man, after seeing how Amber Heard has been treated, will pause.
Powerful men will feel empowered. The glamour of Hollywood has not gone. The story of David and Goliath remains a myth.
This case makes us ask what we are prepared to accept as physical acts of harm which means a person should be punished. How do we punish them? What evidence do we need to say we do not tolerate you any more? It was clear in the case of Harvey Weinstein. Johnny Depp is not on trial for domestic abuse. The US trial is about reputation and money.
Some men might feel they can speak more about the abuse their females partners inflict. Both genders might have greater insightful and more meaningful conversations about toxicity in partnerships.
We can all learn how to improve. Better relationships are important for our health and happiness. Much of our lives involve people, emotions and mistakes. Whether we can stay together, bring out the best in others, thrive, laugh, build a future we want and need, it also depends on those people we allow in. If we surround ourselves with what harms us - whether that's people, alcohol, drugs or other vices, then that is what will bring us down.
The Depp-Heard trial might help some people in toxic relationships wake up to their behaviour. Some might seek help. Others might end their addictions.
Then there are those that choose not to grow. They will use this to create more unhappiness and it will justify further unhealthy attitudes.
Image: by Felix Mittermeier
Public Opinion
Win
A verdict for Depp could green light Dinsey to put him back into the Pirates franchise. It is the perception that matters. Do I want Depp back in Pirates? Yes. Is he a talented actor? He can be. Does he need to deal with his drug and alcohol problem? Absolutely.
As a woman, I do feel concerned that men might see this as an example women can be mistreated, publicly humiliated and they can get away with it. Do I think Depp is worthy of respect and a hugely successful career? I'm not sure any more. Is this a standard we should apply to entertainers? Maybe. If he hit her a few times under certain circumstances, within a context that anyone might understand, by accident, or otherwise, is that ok? I don't know.
If he wins, the chances he will feel vindicated to return to the downward spiral of drugs and alcohol is highly likely.
He may see himself as a victim, rather than accepting his own mistakes and faults.
Lose
BUT if he loses this case, he will need to rehabilitate his reputation. He will need to clean himself up. Depp will need to fight to make a comeback. Hollywood and the media love a comeback story. We've seen it with so many famous men.
Is Depp doing this case to win? Or is he trying to gain more attention and make himself bankable again. Does he think he can win anyway regardless of the trial verdict?
The media coverage has been more pro Depp. He is a huge money making machine for the entertainment industry. He's an A Lister with worldwide box office takings estimated at $10 billion. He made $55 million from profit participation in Disney's 2010 Alice in Wonderland, which made the corporation $1.03 billion.
Perhaps Depp has stoked the pro-media coverage and thrown his own money at it too, afterall there are suggestions of bots and a coordinated social media strategy to damage Heard.
Amber Heard has not won herself more fans. She may be used to support feminist claims, but her lies have tarnished her. Do we judge women too harshly? Yes. Does she deserve to be unhappy? No. Should she be rewarded for lying? Probably not. But neither does Depp.
I still feel confused and have mixed feelings about this case. Maybe I resent both Heard and Depp for shattering the illusions and the judgments of my youth - that I thought this man was wonderful, worthy of having his posters, more than 10 but less than 40, I don't recall, on my bedroom walls.
What I do know is that both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard need to stop making each other miserable. It's the actions of one which results in the response of the other.
The key takeaway is that drugs and alcohol don't make you happier or healthier. They can destroy your life and everything you have built. Lies do not help you.
The Johnny Depp v Amber Heard defamation case in Fairfax is now with the jury, but public opinion will evolve over time and who knows where we will all end up - happier, healthier, we can only hope so.
Unhealthy snacking can become a bad habit and cutting it out cold turkey can be hard. It can be done.
It starts with a smoothie in the morning. I put away the unhealthy snacks into a cupboard I rarely open. It's high up on the top shelf.
I place several healthy options on the table: an apple, bananas, grapefruit and nuts. They will be the first thing I see when I wander in looking to eat something.
A glass of semi-skimmed milk is followed by a substantial cold lunch of leftovers. I've moved the yoghurt to a place in the fridge that will remind me to eat it.
Intention and preparation makes a difference.
Yesterday I didn't have any unhealthy snacks. After one day, the habit is broken. I hope!
Today I started with grapefruit and melon. The spinach smoothie was my snack. Peanuts, a yoghurt and a banana were great when I got hungry. A substantial cold lunch of leftovers again and I had a lighter vegetarian dinner. I knew I might feel like snacking so I had an orange for dessert.
Plus I squeezed in a 30 minute workout before dinner. Exercise helps my healthy living attitude.
It's been a successful day.
I'm not on a diet. I've not been eating the worst unhealthy snacks. However I want a healthy lifestyle. I want to make better choices.
Junk food is rubbish. You are filling your body with calories that have little or no nutritional value. Would you fill your car up with gas / petrol that you know is bad for the engine?
Snacking is about boredom, not having big enough meals, or feeling tired and needing an energy boost. I know I'm tired and not sleeping as much as I should. I want to address that. In the meantime, I want to stop reaching for unhealthy snacks. Unhealthy snacks like chocolate and icecream should be the exception rather the norm.
Today I was thinking I need to make a batch of energy balls. They make great healthy snacks.
Think about:
Why you are eating unhealthy snacks?
What good habits help you snack less or not at all?
What healthy substitites do you like?
What is one thing you can do now to help you cut out or cut back on unhealthy snacks?
Why are you committed to being healthier and are you willing to make changes? If so, when will you start?
Cutting out unhealthy snacks is not mission impossible, but it does require a commitment to achieving that goal.
We all have things we want to improve. There's a niggling thought that if I could just change x about myself, I would be happier.
Lately I hate my arms. There's articles like Summer Sexy Arm Workout. We feel better knowing we are taking steps to improve whatever is bothering us. However, we also need to learn to not focus on what we're not happy about. Beauty is more than arms, thighs, bellies and boobs. Our emotions about our body can be about us realising we need to be healthier.
I'd love to have sexier arms. It is possible, but it means dedication and perseverance. However, there are lots of other goals which I also want to focus on.
I know I need to cut down on sugar and snacking. Worrying about the cost of living crisis and Ukraine has meant I'm not as clear about what I want or what I'm doing.
I want to meditate more to clear my mind and provide greater clarity. Sexier arms might make me happier about my arms but it won't resolve the other things in my life that I'm not happy about.
Using goals as a way to organise my mind has been helpful in the past. There are habits I need to foster again. Maybe I will have sexier arms, but the quest to happiness isn't in arms alone.
Let me tell you about what is happening in the country called Great Britain. It is no longer great. It no longer is a country full of proud people. Instead there is poverty, hunger and disillusionment.
We have a prime minister concerned with political survival. Instead of the will of the people, it is the will of the back benchers.
Lifting all Covid-19 public health safety measures like the requirement to isolate if positive and free testing is imminent. This:
inflicts further damage on an already overwhelmed NHS,
adds to waiting lists,
increases risks to keyworkers
damages our covid management infrastructure, and
costs us the right to prompt medical care.
The UK public were urged to have boosters in December if it was after 3 months from a second dose of the vaccine. Studies suggested immunity wanes 3 months after vaccination.
As we approach 3 months from the mass vaccination in December, the Tory government in England is sending the message that a legal requirement to isolate from covid-19 is no longer necessary.
Whenever you scratch the surface of any issue today, you discover illogical policies without any substantial evidence to support the decision making.
Suddenly, it is as if all government medical and scientific advisors have been gagged and locked up. In a major decision about public health, we do not hear a single word from them. Their silence speaks volumes. It is deafening.
Protect yourself, family and community. Wear masks, socially distance and isolate if you have covid-19. Your life and theirs is precious. Your quality of life will be affected if you have long covid or develop serious complications after a mild case of covid-19.
Look at how far we have come since the pandemic. Have patience and faith that it will truly come to an end, rather than believing charlatans who say it's over when it's not. If we let our guards down with the idea that we need to learn to live with it, then the consequences can be very real and you will have to accept them. Now is not the time to have a medical condition.
If you delve even a little into the state of the UK health system, you will be shocked at its demise. The backlog for the waiting lists for the NHS is years now. It is not days or months. Let that sink in. If you cannot afford private care, you may have to wait years to be treated for a medical condition in a country with how many millionaires and billionaires?
Our country is sick. Scientific and medical advice is being dismissed by cavalier short-sighted politicians who are out of touch with the people. It is a government that embraces reckless premature freedom.
Freedom day in summer 2021 when the government removed mask requirements:
put us at a disadvantage when dealing with omicron.
We had a higher starting point of infection levels.
It created greater complacency, which resulted in more infections, disruption to businesses, deaths and long covid.
At the beginning of the pandemic, it was thought only the vulnerable and elderly were at risk from covid19. In 2021, unvaccinated healthy parents of young children died in hospital. There has been an increase in children being hospitalised in December 2021. The virus is evolving. We do not yet know the end of this story.
The UK has an irresponsible government that promotes a selfish attitude of everyone for themselves. Division does not create strength.
It is collaboration and consideration for others which creates wealth and happiness. It is shame that fills the hearts of good people throughout this country. It is guilt when we hear about the grief of the families who lost loved ones.
There are allegations of corruption, rule breaking and lies. The system has failed and justice has not been served. Our democracy and values have been undermined.
What can ordinary people do? How can we shake this feeling of helplessness? Write to MPs. Vote against this. Tweet. Blog. Support journalists and anyone who is fighting the good fight.
Do not be quiet and allow this to happen to your country. Stop reading or watching mainstream media that is perpetuating this disastrous course of action. When their audience and advertising revenue goes down, then they may listen.
None of our actions will have an immediate effect, but with time and patience, battles are won. All great causes in history took time. It was about people's rights. This is about our rights as the people of Great Britain.
It is as if a disease is spreading and killing this country. It is dying a slow, cruel and excruciating death. Our leaders are complicit. Anyone with influence or power has closed their eyes and are focused only on personal wealth creation. They have all discarded their responsibilities as human beings. They will be judged eventually. History will not be kind to them, and rightly so.
Yesterday was a low calorie and low fat day, though I discovered my 3.5 day detox was even less pure than I thought. On the peanuts packet I realised there is sunflower oil. It was like the time I found flour on the shredded cheese ingredients list.
The reason I was looking at nuts yesterday was that I'd had a harder workout. I'd increased my weights and added a few hiit exercises. Afterwards, I had a carrot smoothie and a grapefruit, but I figured I should add more protein to my post-workout meal, so I had a few handfuls of nuts.
I went for a walk but my energy levels weren't there and I also needed a toilet break as the smoothie was making its way through my body.
So it was a shorter walk than usual. It was drizzling on and off. It was grey and my heart wasn't in it.
Back at home, I had an early dinner of tom yum vegetable soup, which was extra delicious as the flavours had become richer overnight.
I'm pleased with the diet I managed yesterday, but I started to think about calorie cycling. I was rrading about alternate days of low calories, the diet equivalent of a hiit workout.
The idea of metabolic confusion complements the flexitarian diet since meat days will be higher calories.
What was interesting was 3 to 7 days of high calories after days or weeks of low calories. It is cheat days but more than one day. The trick is staying disciplined and going back to low calorie days. Could this be how I become guilt free on the days I deviate from my normal?
What I've also tried to incorporate is intermittent fasting. I have breakfast at least 12 hours since my last snack.
Metabolism is an important part of our health and any weight loss management program, which is why I workout to boost the low calories intake and to increase my metabolism which might be falling as my calories going in goes down.
It seems that with calorie cycling and fasting, it might make metabolism management even more effective. Could this be one of the secrets to weight management and living a healthier life?
I feel more productive during this flexitarian diet plus heavy workout regime. It is taking up more time, but I am sleeping much better than before I began.
The shift to more meat free meals is a trend in the UK. I'm not sure how much this has influenced me, but certainly doing detoxes over the years and trying to do more meat free meals has meant it is a direction I've been taking to try to improve my overall health.
They say vegetarians live longer. I figure a few more meat free meals is great for my grocery bills which seem to be getting higher and also with energy bills / inflation rising, if I can save a bit extra, lose weight and feel healthier, then why not?
Did you knowU.S. News & World Report does an annual Best Diet Rankings?
For those of you looking to try a new diet, it provides a list of different ways people have come up with to restrict their diet.
For two weeks, I've been on a sort of diet. It started off for three and a half days with what I call a detox:
No wheat
No meat, fish or eggs
No salt
No oil
No sugar
No caffeine or alcohol (I don't normally anyway)
No processed food
Almost no dairy ( I had yoghurt for two mornings)
It was essentially just fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds.
I've had a few meat, fish or egg meals since then, but nowhere near the levels I'm used to. I've also had only a minimal amount of wheat, salt, oil, sugar and dairy throughout this period. Most meals I still don't have any of them. I've had zero processed food.
The closest diet I can find to what I'm doing is the Flexitarian diet ie. a part-time vegetarian. The flexitarian was tied for 2nd place in the U.S. News & World Report 2021 Best Diet Rankings.
It's been challenging but not difficult to do expert level flexitarian. I've flirted with meat free meals and days over the last year. I've also done detoxes once or twice annually for a few years.
The flexitarian two weeks has been a huge reduction in calories and I feel healthier. I might need to buy some new clothes. All my trousers are way too loose - yay!
Tofu and cauliflower
I've tried to balance out meals. Some are meat free, some are grain free, some are oil free or a combination of these. Some meals I'm trying for the trifecta, which is easiest for breakfast. I base my decision on what I have in the fridge, use by dates and my exercise needs.
For example, I had salmon and beef brisket. Two meals in the last 7 days were salmon and another two meals were beef. For these meals, I didn't have any grains. I also tried to mix it up, meat free lunch one day then meat free dinner the next. Each day I was having two meals meat free.
Just after my three and a half day detox, I had two meals of sardines and four meals of turkey breast.
I've started doing Hiit which is a harder workout so the beef recently has been great. By the way, did you know different cuts of beef vary significantly in terms of fat content? Brisket is fairly low compared to the highest at about 8g per 100g. I also tried to avoid eating the fat and skimmed it away after each cooling session from the slow cooker.
The brisket is the cow's chest. I am curious about food more when I'm on a diet.
Incidentally, a prime rib and beef rib has 33.7 and 28.1 grams per 100gs respecticely. I'm definitely being more careful in my beef choices in the future.
My fridge is nearly empty so I have to be more creative before my next online grocery delivery.
This is the healthy eating I'm thinking of:
Today:
Kiwi banana yoghurt oats seeds & nuts
Carrot smoothie and a grapefruit for lunch
Nuts, yoghurt and banana as snacks
Tom yum vegetarian soup for dinner
Tomorrow:
Carrot smoothie
Baked potato with homemade hummus (I'm making hummus today)
Spelt and vegetables with tom yum soup
Nuts, citrus and banana to snack on
Saturday
Mango with nuts, seeds and chia
Roasted potatoes w boiled egg
Carrot soup
The next few days are more calorie restricted since I've just had beef and salmon for a few days.
I am thinking about whether to add a run into my workout, which would mean a pasta meal to fuel me. I'm not sure about carrot smoothie and grapefruit for lunch today. I might add a potato salad into the mix. I'm just going to see what happens.
It's felt very healthy with a flexitarian type diet. I am hungry more, but I'm not starving. A bit of hunger is good for us every once in awhile.
I'll try to do a blog post on how the next few days of dieting goes.
When you have salad and vegetables for lunch and / or dinner, you get hungry at night. You're trying to limit calories and be healthy, so what do you do?
You think about treating yourself, but you have been working out more and eating healthy. You really want to be good and not take away from all your hard work.
I've been having an orange for dessert. I peel it with a knife. It takes longer, but I find that I'm giving my body time to digest my dinner and build up an appetite for dessert.
If you're still craving more food, then a banana is a good go to. It is more filling and satisfying.
So what if the banana is not enough? I have a few handfuls of nuts. It gives me that snacking motion of bite sized hand to packet to mouth eating. It is the treat.
After the orange, banana and almonds, you hope you're satisfied, but you still feel like eating. Next comes yoghurt. It's full fat, flavoured and might have a bit of sugar, but it's creamy and you convince yourself it's like having ice-cream.
After waiting 30 - 60 minutes between each snack, it's bedtime and I'm not feeling hungry any more.
If I had wanted to eat something else, I might have tried a clementine or two. If I was desperate, I might have a second yoghurt. Then some melon.
Worst case scenario, I'd resort to dry crackers or rice cakes.
The key for me is variety. Since I've been eating healthier and exercising more, I've been going to bed earlier.
You can read about this in some of my other posts:
Late night snacking tends to encourage very bad choices like chocolate, biscuits and crisps. If you have none of these at home, thst helps. Otherwise, you need will-power, healthy options and good habits.
The great thing is you wake up the next day knowing you achieved and maintained what you wanted. This is important for your self esteem, health and happiness.
Be strong, stick to your goals and find your way to a balanced, healthy happy life.
The last few weeks I've been focusing on my health, in particular eating healthy and exercising more.
When you are looking to improve your health and well being, you want to see results. It might not be reflected in the scales, but we can measure it in other ways - Measure weight loss without a scale
I've become interested in learning about brown fat. Brown fat takes us less space compared to white fat. It keeps you warm when it's cold whilst white fat stores energy.
Babies have lots of brown fat. Some studies suggest women might have more brown fat than men and those who workout more will have even more. As adults, we don't have much brown fat.
The takeaway is working out more and eating smaller meals but more frequently and letting your body be exposed to the cold can affect the level of brown fat.
There seems to be a link between brown fat and metabolism.
It has also been suggested that 'exposing people to cold temperatures while they sleep causes them to accumulate more brown fat — fat tissue whose main function is heat production — and burn more calories.'
So don't rug up too much when you sleep and exercise outdoorseven if it's cold and seems uninviting.
After two weeks, I'm feeling leaner and stronger. One really strange aspect is my dreams are so vivid. I'm very proud that healthy decisions are coming much more easily. The thing is when you've put in so much effort, you don't want it to be wasted.
This week I'm intensifying my workouts. I call them doubles - where I do two workouts either back-to-back or morning / afternoon. It is time consuming and tiring, but it pushes my body to do that little bit extra.
In the past, I've seen positive results from doing this after a few weeks of a regular workout. The key is to avoid injury, rest days and fuel the body with more but not too much healthy wheat and protein.
Also eggs and vegetables for breakfast for a few days is a great way to add more healthy calories with less fat into the daily diet. Plus more bananas and nuts can make a difference. These might help with the brown fat / white fat too. In the youtube video at the top of this post, it also mentions turmeric, chilli and fish. These are all great for your metabolism and I have these in my diet regularly too, but a bit extra this week might not hurt.
The idea is to get a healthy baseline which you can maintain.
What makes a difference is knowing that I have achieved alot with my health and physique in the past. Hard work and discipline were required and the pay off was outstanding.
Early on, it might seem like it's not working, but you need to have faith that this is good for you. As outlined in this article about weight gain instead of loss when working out, your body goes through initial changes. In my case, my weight has stayed the same even though I know that it is definitely improving for the better. I can see and feel it. It will take a few weeks or months for it to be reflected on the scales.
Your body adapts to less calories or more exercise which can be frustrating if you think you're not seeing results.
Like with many things in life, patience, perseverance and good habits may be helpful.
Here are some articles which might be of interest:
I did a 3 day detox - no meat, eggs, fish, sugar, dairy, wheat, caffeine, alcohol, salt and oil. Although, I did have yoghurt on two mornings - I hate to throw things away! Usually my detoxes are strict, but this time I decided it was ok to have a bit of yoghurt. My primary goal was to have a low fat diet.
I find a detox once or twice a year jumpstarts healthy habits and really helps me feel better about myself.
It might also help with the adrenal glands - Adrenal diet
Food becomes very boring on a detox. This time round I ate lots of nuts, potatoes and bananas. Since I was not eating wheat, I ate both regular and sweet potatoes which are a good carb and protein hit. They kept meals reasonably satisfying and filling. I ate a lot of salad and smoothies in the morning.
Tips:
Spinach and celery smoothies are low fat and healthy. I add grapes and apple for sweetness. Ginger and lemon give it a kick. Switch to carrot smoothies when you get bored. Note - lemon is a good addition to the morning routine.
For breakfast too, I'd have grapefruit some morning, or else seeds with nuts & fruit.
Nuts are also great and filling. At night I'd snack on almonds. Go unsalted.
I did a big grocery shop before I started to make sure I was prepared.
Buy organic if budget and convenience permits.
Fruit make salads a bit more interesting. Figs, pear, mango and papaya are great. Red onions give it flavour.
Samphire, nuts or garlic is great if you're craving salt.
Exfoliate to aid any toxin removal.
Be prepared for tiredness, headaches and going to the toilet alot (high fibre and less water retention). Eating took longer. A plate of vegetables is slow to get through. I also slept more and better!
Bananas or nuts were great when I was feeling weak.
Go easy when you come off the detox. Have a bit of fish to start or wheat.
Drink lots of water. Herbal teas are great when you want some variation.
My 3 day detox evolved to a 7 day no wheat or sugar diet. I'm balancing my days with a boring almost detox 2 meals plus a semi healthy one (by semi I mean add wheat, meat / fish). One meal I try to go meat free.
Lots of exercise also complements detoxes.
The results:
My waist seems trimmer and I feel more toned. I'm sleeping so much better after months of really poor sleep.
I'm doing much more exercise, conscious healthy eating and I'm adopting better habits.
Portion sizes have shrunk. I'm use to five to six meals a day instead - eg. Watermelon, banana or nuts might be a snack / small meal.
Note that a detox is not suitable for everyone and a health practitioner should be consulted if you have any medical conditions before undergoing one.
Also any diet may not be sustainable and could result in a nutrient deficient intake, so care should be taken.
To boost metabolism, Hiit can be an intense, time efficient way to workout. Hiit is high intensity interval training.
It involves breaks but then you go hard.
It might include:
Butt kicks
Commandos
Fast feet
Mountain climbers
Knee highs
Runners lunge
Speed skaters
In out squats
Air squats
Bicycle situps
Walkout with pushup
Pushups with shoulder taps
Kettlebell swing
Superman lateral raises
Russian twists
Plank jacks
Wall sits
Pushups
Plank with shoulder taps
Burpees
Stretch before and after. Drink lots of water. I started off with 30 seconds on and 30 seconds off, working through the 19 exercises in the order that I've listed. I ended up breaking longer after the first five and also at the fifteenth workout mark. The total time from laying out the yoga mat to the final stretch was about 30 minutes.
Since I workout at home without trainers, I wore cushioned sports socks. The jumping and running can be tough on my feet.
I first tried hiit at a Virgin Active gym in London years ago. I thought I was fit, but this was a whole other level. At home workouts mean I can do it at the right pace for me, but I need to be disciplined and push myself.
I've included a youtube video of a workout by a Virgin active instructor at the top of this blog to give you an idea of what it's like.
A wall clock with the ticking seconds is super handy but you can use the stopwatch on your phone or a watch.
Hiit is great if you want a new challenge, to try something new, burn fat and love a really good sweaty workout.
My staple workouts are weights, body balance and kickboxing. So a hiit workout is something to add into the mix every now and then because it can be brutal and exacerbate existing injuries. Be careful, form is important and if you're unsure then consult an expert or try it under supervision.
For more on hiit workouts, you might find these articles useful:
We can focus on the past, present or future. Too much time in any one of these can make us full of regret, optimism or discontent.
Or if we spend our time thinking about what we have and what we're working towards, this can be a positive space that is more conducive to happiness.
We can accept the universe or a higher power works in mysterious ways by testing us & putting more obstacles in our path.
Ultimately, being in touch with our emotions & more of what we want than what we should do keeps us on track.
Nature is an important part of finding our way. When we spend time reflecting rather than ignoring our needs, then directing our energies in the most productive ways to these ends creates a wonderful way forward.
Every day I play 10 minutes of mindfulness, I try to find something to further my personal development, listen to music, have at least one nice meal, spend time with nature, rest when I am tired and I am reading much more. Throughout the week, I work towards my goals & feel like I am making progress. I am constantly learning new things which is great. I'm really interested in the growth mindset at the moment.
Some days are blah, but I try to remember that those feelings will pass. Each new day or after a nap can shift my mood.
The thing is that it's not what I have or don't, what I do or don't and what everyone else thinks or does. That's all just the cherry on top. In the end, it's a state of mind. It's what is in my head. There are things & people who live rent free in there & it is better to find ways to make my life simpler, away from these people & things.
It can be hard to remember all of this. Our minds are so cluttered with stuff to do, places to be & mindless chatter in our head. I am finding that doing less is much healthier for me.
Earlier this week I was exhausted & emotional. I took naps, cooked nice meals, spent time reading for fun & watched a little football. A few walks have also helped me recharge. It's funny how our week can be so variable.
Today I realised that I am really happy right now. I have songs playing in my head.
When the time is right, all that I have been doing will not be for nothing. Life has a funny way of working out.
Lately I've been feeling alot of self doubt. It's been a week of change, learning new things and facing some of my fears. When your inadequacies loom large, then your confidence wavers.
I've had to take a break, step away from everything and recharge. Books, a movie and enjoying the spring antics of the animals has helped. Sleep has been a great healer.
It's been important to remind myself of my accomplishments in my life and all that I have achieved throughout this period of self doubt.
I had considered writing up a list of all the great things about myself. It seemed like it might be something that might be useful against the monster in my head. I didn't end up doing that, but I have done it before when I was feeling very low.
People talk about courage and bravery with what I am doing. I am just muddling through and hoping for the best. At the same time, I now see that the skills and experience I've accumulated over the years have meant I am better equipped to handle it all.
It's a funny thing to be under the cloud of self-doubt but then when the sun starts to shine down again, you settle back into the comfortableness of knowing who you are.
Be kind to yourself. That is what we need to remember. The voice of self doubt is not the compassionate friend you need to be to yourself. Those thoughts aren't the sort of thing you would say to a friend or loved one. It's important to remember that when you the self-doubting becomes loud.
Self doubt is challenging and can fuel anxieties, but it is manageable and there are lots of people, tools & tricks out there to help you.
Even after you feel like you are managing to deal with the self doubt, you might wobble. A success mindset is another important tool which focuses on optimism and a long term perspective.
Other articles you might find interesting on self-doubt and a success mindset are:
