Johnny Depp v Amber Heard - lessons on health and happiness

Image: Johnny Depp by E. Diop

This morning, I read a summary of the Depp v Heard defamation trial: the entertainment story that has come up in casual conversation and zoom calls for weeks because everyone is aware, if not reading, following or opining on the subject of domestic abuse, dirty laundry, liars, #metoo and every other angle they can consider. 

I confess I was a huge Johnny Depp fan as a teen and young adult. He seemed like a true artist in indy roles, but not interested in fanning the flames of stardom, rather shy and just kind of cool but not arrogant. Johnny Depp bought fans pints in the pub, played the guitar with kids who were waiting for their parents on set and he dressed up as a pirate in children's hospitals. Depp rushed his sick child to Great Ormond St. He cared about people. 

Furthermore, I must confess I have never been a fan of Heard. I didn't see her appeal or think she was interesting in any way. I saw the Depp-Heard marriage as an older man going through a mid-life crisis. He shouldn't have left Vanessa Paridis and his kids. Just another cliche, I thought. A family man, devoted to his girlfriend and their kids is sexy.  Insecure Johnny Depp, chasing youth, getting high and no longer doing any indy films is lame. That was one of the many reasons that ended the appeal of Johnny Depp for me. 

Image: Royal Courts of Justice by Mahosadha Ong

Johnny Depp's 2020 UK Libel Court Case (The Sun Newspaper)

Nevertheless, I consumed the 2020 libel court case in London like I was gorging at a buffet. I even bothered with some of the court transcripts to explore some of the finer details of the case. It was a great escape from the horrors of the pandemic and lockdowns. 

The Sun newspaper called Depp a "wife beater." The UK judge concluded Heard was to be believed more than Depp as a witness, and ruled against Depp. He concluded the article was "substantially true" and 12 of the 14 alleged incidents of domestic violence occurred. 

Libel

What struck me about this case was that a newspaper could make a claim and splash a headline accusing a man of being an abuser, but at trial, the judge considers facts the newspaper did not know at the time. 

So I can make a statement today which I know may be false, but so long as in the future, I can prove it is largely true, I am innocent. It means I can take a gamble with someone's reputation. That is troubling for all of us. It provides much greater power to newspapers and sensationalist headlines. 

Perhaps that has always been the case with libel. Thirty years ago this might have been fine. The internet was not yet in full swing. We relied on newspapers and magazines only. Judgments weren't made based on limited information and the public didn't have a 2 second attention span. 

The law has gone in the wrong direction 

I do not believe a newspaper should be allowed headlines or articles based on speculation. We need a higher standard from our media, especially when it comes to someone's reputation. In today's culture of social media, we have too much mud slinging and nastiness. The media cannot contribute to this without sufficient evidence. Otherwise, how can we trust them as a source of information? 

Image: Graffiti by Ran Berkovich

What do we believe? 

What also struck me in this case was that one witness who had been a friend or makeup artist of Heard, said she had been a victim of domestic violence. She had confided in Heard. Heard's account then used the same story and words of her friend when she told her story. It cast doubt in my mind about Heard's credibility. I realised I did not want to believe Depp was an abuser. However, I also did not want to think Heard could lie about being a victim. 

The judge chose to believe Heard more than Depp. I was not in the court room. He was. BUT, he also has his biases too. 

Interestingly, it seems this same testimony was not put forward in the US case - either because it was not strong enough evidence, it was considered less credible or it was not admissible. 

The London case was Depp v a newspaper. The American case is Depp v Heard. It is a she said - he said case. The only biases and opinion that matters in this case will be the jury's. 

Except for the court of public opinion, but I'll write about that later. 

The US Defamation Case (Washington Post Open Editorial by Amber Heard)

I've watched snippets of live testimony, read several articles and given more thought to the US case than I actually have time for. 

In many ways, I'm writing this blog post to figure out what my verdict is. I don't know what to believe or who to believe. This big beautiful world we live in is full of contradictions, misinformation and confusion. The Depp v Heard trial reflects that. 

Abuse

Both Depp and Heard are lying or reflecting on a version of their truth that may not be entirely accurate. The couples' therapist said they both abused each other, though Heard initiated it more. What does abuse mean? Was it physical, verbal or both? If Depp was just physically defending himself because Heard initiated, does that still make him an abuser?

Other than the couple's therapist, Depp's team did not have any other domestic abuse experts. Does that mean Depp wasn't really a victim of domestic abuse? I don't know. It could be for any number of reasons. 

Kate Moss' testimony was only 3 minutes. There are legal reasons why some questions could not be asked or why she could not say some things. 

Image: by Colin Davis

Fault

In any relationship, both parties are at fault.  No one is completely innocent. In a domestic violence case, both can be victims and abusers. Historically the narrative has always been one victim and one abuser. 

Where there are drugs, alcohol and mental health issues involved, as is the case with both parties here, recollections may vary. 

Heard has video recordings. Depp also sent text messages to friends making some heinous suggestions about Heard. They are abhorrent and shatter the nice guy image he has crafted. 

Audio recordings of Depp include him saying to Heard:

"Shut the f*** up ... don't f***** pretend to be authoritative with me. You don't exist."

In a text message, Depp writes "let's drown her before we burn her."

Depp has apologised, dismissing words and actions as humour. It is evidence like this which adversely affects Depp's credibility. 

On a Graham Norton show, Depp appeared to be under the influence of something. His behaviour was odd and Dame Judi Dench looked uncomfortable. It bothered me long afterwards and I even googled it to discover according to ladbible, others had also wondered was he drunk or high?

Mid-life crisis?

Whether this was the drugs, Amber Heard, his mid-life crisis, or a combination of all of these and more, who knows, but he seems to be a man who is deeply unhappy. 

Depp was a man who preferred his privacy. But now, he has opened himself up to the media circus. Stories about severed fingers and writing with blood on the wall - it sounds like a bad horror story. 

Depp says the trial is to defend his name. I suspect it is because he has become accustomed to a lifestyle and seeks the big pay packets from Hollywood. He fell in love with the glory of Pirates of the Carribean.  

The reports of wild spending, substance abuse, bad behaviour on set, costing studios money because shooting was delayed, requiring ear pieces because he doesn't learn lines and crazy costly demands for perks do not paint a flattering picture of a humble down-to-earth nice guy. 

I felt he became a sell out. Instead of pursuing the art and being an actor, he was a performer churning out movies. He no longer had any interest in indy films. It was just about the money. Sure, enjoy buying islands and flying in private jets, but was everything you used to do - the decent artistic guy, was that all just a lie?

As he grew older, he enjoyed the attention of a young woman, ie Amber Heard. He turned away from Vanessa Paridis and the simple life they built. 

Perhaps he blamed Heard for this. Or maybe he has always had an unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol. The stable marriage and children with Paridis did not bring out the extremism that Heard did. 

Depp is imperfect. Did he throw things and show his temper? Probably. Did he cause bruises to Heard? Possibly. 

There's an audio recording where Heard admits to hitting Depp. In another, she mocks any claim Depp might make that he is a victim of domestoc violence.

Did Heard incite Depps behaviour? Probably sometimes. Has she exaggerated anything? Probably. Is she a victim? I don't know. 

Depp calls Heard a:

"Gold digging, low level, dime a dozen, mushy, pointless dangling overused flashy fish market. "

Heard after alleged incidents professes love and her text messages suggest she was not abused. This is not necessarily indicative that abuse did not happen. Maybe she is a gold digger. Maybe she has spun some lies and faked photographs. That does not mean Depp is not an abuser. This is a strategy using tropes about a character type we do not like. It influences us to emphathise less with a woman. But also, applying this strategy does not mean Depp is an abuser. His legal defence team is using any and all tools to help their client.

Is Depp an abuser? A jury might conclude he is. 

Either way, both Depp and Heard seem like they need alot of help. They are damaged individuals. Any breakup can get ugly. Horrible words and actions are said in the heat of the moment behind closed doors. Violence by men and women can easily happen. 

Image: by Brad Lloyd

Happiness and Moving On 

Depp's Instagram is about his music and truth. He feels his truth must come out. Music provides him with solace and helps ease his pain. The court case has made him clean up and he doesn't appear to be under the influence of his addictions. 

Heard has had a baby and is beginning a new life. Depp needs to move on too. Perhaps this trial will help him to do that. 

If I was on the jury, I would not want either of them to win. Both are guilty and both should not receive money from the other. When it comes to the law though, I suspect that Depp may by definition be an abuser so the defamation case may not succeed. 

However, like the UK case, this is based on facts now in evidence. The truth is a defence. 

Also, Heard's 2018 Washington Post article, which is the subject of this case, is carefully worded. She said I am 

"a public figure representing domestic abuse"

Juries aren't predictable. They are driven by emotion, beliefs and bias. Whatever decision by law they should make might not matter if you have one juror who dissents. 

Image: by Venti Views

Why does this case matter?

It's not just a divorce case. It's not just entertainment. This isn't a reality tv show. 

Celebrities and public relation teams are watching and learning. We will see more court cases where the legal system is used to help someone's brand. It used to be we did not air our dirty linen. Our private lives remained private. This case opens the door even more widely to a culture where we overshare, we let the public scrutinise intimate details of our lives and it encourages the media to do so too, because that's what the public wants. 

Real domestic violence victims will fear how they will be treated if they come forward. Any victim, woman or man, after seeing how Amber Heard has been treated, will pause. 

Powerful men will feel empowered. The glamour of Hollywood has not gone. The story of David and Goliath remains a myth. 

This case makes us ask what we are prepared to accept as physical acts of harm which means a person should be punished. How do we punish them? What evidence do we need to say we do not tolerate you any more? It was clear in the case of Harvey Weinstein. Johnny Depp is not on trial for domestic abuse. The US trial is about reputation and money. 

Some men might feel they can speak more about the abuse their females partners inflict. Both genders might have greater insightful and more meaningful conversations about toxicity in partnerships. 

We can all learn how to improve. Better relationships are important for our health and happiness. Much of our lives involve people, emotions and mistakes. Whether we can stay together, bring out the best in others, thrive, laugh, build a future we want and need, it also depends on those people we allow in. If we surround ourselves with what harms us - whether that's people, alcohol, drugs or other vices, then that is what will bring us down. 

The Depp-Heard trial might help some people in toxic relationships wake up to their behaviour. Some might seek help. Others might end their addictions. 

Then there are those that choose not to grow. They will use this to create more unhappiness and it will justify further unhealthy attitudes. 

Image: by Felix Mittermeier 

Public Opinion

Win

A verdict for Depp could green light Dinsey to put him back into the Pirates franchise. It is the perception that matters. Do I want Depp back in Pirates? Yes. Is he a talented actor? He can be. Does he need to deal with his drug and alcohol problem? Absolutely. 

As a woman, I do feel concerned that men might see this as an example women can be mistreated, publicly humiliated and they can get away with it. Do I think Depp is worthy of respect and a hugely successful career? I'm not sure any more. Is this a standard we should apply to entertainers? Maybe. If he hit her a few times under certain circumstances, within a context that anyone might understand, by accident, or otherwise, is that ok? I don't know. 

If he wins, the chances he will feel vindicated to return to the downward spiral of drugs and alcohol is highly likely. 

He may see himself as a victim, rather than accepting his own mistakes and faults. 

Lose

BUT if he loses this case, he will need to rehabilitate his reputation. He will need to clean himself up. Depp will need to fight to make a comeback. Hollywood and the media love a comeback story. We've seen it with so many famous men. 

Is Depp doing this case to win? Or is he trying to gain more attention and make himself bankable again. Does he think he can win anyway regardless of the trial verdict? 

The media coverage has been more pro Depp. He is a huge money making machine for the entertainment industry. He's an A Lister with worldwide box office takings estimated at $10 billion. He made $55 million from profit participation in Disney's 2010 Alice in Wonderland, which made the corporation $1.03 billion. 

Perhaps Depp has stoked the pro-media coverage and thrown his own money at it too, afterall there are suggestions of bots and a coordinated social media strategy to damage Heard. 

Amber Heard has not won herself more fans. She may be used to support feminist claims, but her lies have tarnished her. Do we judge women too harshly? Yes. Does she deserve to be unhappy? No. Should she be rewarded for lying? Probably not. But neither does Depp. 

I still feel confused and have mixed feelings about this case. Maybe I resent both Heard and Depp for shattering the illusions and the judgments of my youth - that I thought this man was wonderful, worthy of having his posters, more than 10 but less than 40, I don't recall, on my bedroom walls. 

What I do know is that both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard need to stop making each other miserable. It's the actions of one which results in the response of the other. 

The key takeaway is that drugs and alcohol don't make you happier or healthier. They can destroy your life and everything you have built. Lies do not help you. 

You may be interested in:

• The Summary - Depp v Heard: The key bits of evidence from six weeks of 'soap opera' trial - Sky News
• Written by CNN business correspondent, Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, and all of us - CNN  listed several articles that I found interesting.
• Stop Trying to Extract Lessons - New Republic
• Amber Heard, Johnny Depp and who we choose to believe - USA Today
  
• Column: Will the Depp/Heard hell trial never end?
  
• The Johnny Depp–Amber Heard Trial Is Not as Complicated as You May Think - The New Yorker
  
• 2018 Washington Post op-ed
  

Read other blog posts:

• What is the secret to happiness?
  
• Will Smith v Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars - is violence ever acceptable?
  
• Paris - The Designer Fashion Capital of the World
• Battle of the London Tourist Attractions
  
• How to be Frugal - Eating Out and Seeing the Real London
  

The Johnny Depp v Amber Heard defamation case in Fairfax is now with the jury, but public opinion will evolve over time and who knows where we will all end up - happier, healthier, we can only hope so. 

Line of Duty Season 6 Finale reflects how I'm traumatised by 2020

 "When did we stop caring about honesty and integrity?"

- Line of Duty Season 6 

Sometimes I feel I'm so traumatised by 2020 - the deaths, government corruption and suffering that I can't face the news. There is no end in sight yet. There is no real solution or heroes. That is what Jed Mecurio's record breaking tv series Line of Duty Season 6 represents. 

I came to the Line of Duty party late. It's been running for 10 years. I've watched all six seasons on BBC iplayer in the last few months, mostly watching one season within one or two days - a rare accomplishment for anything to hold my attention in this way. 

It is a show about power, the real life loneliness in this world and our imperfections, dramatised in a fictional police anti corruption high speed chase versus corporate document evidentiary lense. 

This is reality - one minute we're high and the next we are inundated with the tedium but necessary world of offices, bureaucrcacy, regulations and incompetence. 

Season 6 of Line of Duty centred on the death of a journalist, the coverup and the possible demise of Anti-Corruption Unit 12. Now have a think about the media and journalists in the last 12 months. Also think about the coverups and demise of so many things we are living with. 

I immerse myself in nature, beautiful images and frivolity to balance all the ugliness of this world. 

It's the only way I can resume as a creative person, to write and continue when at times I cannot understand what has happened, why it is happening and not feel like everything is disintegrating into a bleak dystopia. 

To say I'm traumatised by 2020 seems a bit melodramatic. Yet the thing is, I was, am and everyone was and is too. 

Line of Duty provided an escape and keeps the cracks from growing too wide. It makes you want to believe there are honest people fighting for what is right despite all that is thrown at them. 

It also reminds me that it is the journey that matters, not a single monent, or season end. 2020 is just one episode of my life. 2021 is a new season of challenges and stories. 

I want to focus on the positives that have developed. I want to see a brighter future. I want the glass is half full. Whoever's job it is to fix our broken democracy must stop being incompetent and get on with it. 

Was Line of Duty's season 6 finale a success? 

A writer and artist is brave to step away from crowd pleasing and formulas. To stay true to a story, characters and the fictional world is golden. To make a statement with greater deeper messages and provoke us to think is genius. 

The final hour might not deliver the neat tidy bow, nor the explosive dramatic action, but it does reveal more and still keeps the audience hanging. People are talking about the show and will watch a season 7. If that's not success, then what is? 

An African Escape

In the last year I've tried to capture the essence of holidays and travelling by exploring different areas of London and taking my travel camera along to see the city as a tourist. 

For a more foreign escape, I've been going to Africa with free live safaris on youtube with WildLife. They are at sunrise and sunset. The safaris are shown daily. It's pretty cool, but for the pandemic, I don't think this experience would be available. 

I've never been on an African safari. I've explored the Pantanal in Brazil and these WildEarth safaris remind me of that trip and the excitement of seeing animals, watching them and discovering a whole other world. 

They have previous live safaris available on their youtube channel too. If you like wild animals, it's worth taking a look. The live safaris are more exciting for me because you're seeing it with others and there's no pausing or fast forwarding. It feels more real and it's a great African escape for travel addicts who need a fix. 

For more information on WildEarth, you can also go to:

• You can watch daily livestreams of safaris including elephants, lions and hippos
• https://wildearth.tv/
  

A French Escape

I've been listening to French music lately. It makes a great change from the everyday. 

I discovered the French singer and actress, Louane, from the film La Famille Belier. The film is a comedy about a sixteen year old girl who interprets for her deaf family. Her newly discovered talent for singing may mean leaving home and moving away. It was quirky and amusing. 

Though my holidays to France might be over for now, music and films make a lovely little French escape possible. 

Prince - the Musical Genius

Prince was one of the greatest of my lifetime - an artist, performer and legend.

I saw him at one of his 21 days concerts at the O2 in London. That night was amazing.  It was September 13 and he performed with Sir Elton John too that night. 

After his passing, I went to a few screenings of Prince's movies. It was great to be around others who loved his music. I had always wanted to see him at a jazz festival and I had never made the time. 

There are so many great Prince songs. I still especially enjoy listening to the Diamonds and Pearls album now and then. There was a magic around those performance with the NPG. 

Today is the fifth anniversary of his death. This morning I listened to the Piano and a Microphone album. He was just so incredibly talented. 

Though he may be gone, we will be discovering more of his music for many years to come. 

Here are some other stories on Prince that you may be interested in:

• Exploring the unreleased music in Prince's vault 
• Prince 21 Nights at the O2 in London – 10 years on from the greatest show on Planet Earth
  
• A Final Visit With Prince: Rolling Stone’s Lost Cover Story
  
• Prince tribute
  
• Elton John's tribute
  

Superbowl Half-time Performances - Jackson versus Prince

After watching the 2020 Superbowl half-time show with the exceptional performances by Jennifer Lopez and Shakira, I watched some of the previous year's. I narrowed it down to two favourites - Prince in 2007 and Michael Jackson in 1993. Decades apart but both incredible performances.

Prince is one of the greatest musicians and artists. The way he played his electric guitars in the pouring rain and asked if they could make it rain harder? Wow!

Rolling Stone's magazine ranked Prince's performance number 2 with U2's at number 1. A september 11 tribute is pretty hard to beat and I do admire Bono and the boys.

MJ was number 11. After the allegations of child abuse and the documentary, Jackson's music has fallen out of favour by the popular media and the mainstream. I still remember the first time I saw the Black or White video and as a child who was not black or white, it really made a statement. It made me feel a part of the world. It was about being inclusive and I think that his music has always felt real and authentic. MJ wrote Heal the World before environmental concern became fashionable. Despite the nostalgia, what impressed me about MJ's Superbowl show was the effectiveness of the long pause before he performed - creating anticipation. His first song struck the right mood and I had goosebumps. When the entire crowd were involved and turned over cards to reveal images of children holding hands, I thought 'genius.' Is it wrong that I still like Michael's music? In this age of political correctness, is it allowed? 

Another great performer - Madonna had me singing along to her hits, but Jackson's performance stood out for me.

Prince and Jackson battled over the years. Both were legendary in their time, pushing music to new realms and both now are no longer with us. They both knew how to work a crowd and make beautiful music. Whatever the circumstances of their life, music helps us in many ways and the marriage of music with sport is a great one. I wonder why the Premier and Champions League don't have a half-time performance ...


You might also like to read:

• 'Could You Make It Rain Harder?': Prince's 2007 Super Bowl Set, Remembered by Keyboardist Morris Hayes
• Flashback: Michael Jackson Reclaims His Pop Throne at Super Bowl XXVII
• Rolling Stone Magazine's Super Bowl Halftime Shows Ranked: From Worst to Best
• Female empowerment in J Lo and Shakira 2020 half-time Superbowl

Female Empowerment in J Lo and Shakira 2020 Half-time Superbowl

The halftime superbowl starring Jenny from the block, Jennifer Lopez aka J Lo, and Shakira nails female empowerment.

In the post-#MeToo era, the entertainment industry lately is finding its footing and voice. Recent trips to the cinema had me noticing the distinct shift in attitude to women. We are in a new dawn of correctness.

The performance felt authentic with Lopez going back to her roots with some of her old hits, including singing 'let's get loud' with her daughter along with an ensemble of young girls. Shakira brought a more international feel with her Olympic song Waka Waka (This Time for Africa). It was a show representing hope for a more united world and called for greater equality, inclusion and fearlessness.

Lopez and Shakira embraced their feminity with hip shaking and pole dancing. The Kobe Bryant tribute was also a fantastic touch. It was a visually stunning show and I have to say it was one of the better half-time acts that we've seen in a long time.

The choreographers, designers and all the behind the scenes work by creative talented people is commendable.

Aside from the annoying advertisements interrupting the youtube version of the performance which I saw - seriously how can they play an ad 3 seconds into Hips Don't Lie?, I really enjoyed watching the show and not having to stay up to watch it on telly.

The only other thing to mention is that initially I wondered what about young boys, people of other cultures and races or even white men that might feel alienated by it all? Then I remembered actually this is 18 minutes of a nearly 4 hour match of men competing and being paid vast sums of money. This is a small step given the gender pay gap in sports and entertainment. It is right that two latino women shine.

'Let's show the world what two little Latin girls can do,'  wrote Jennifer Lopez on Instagram. Indeed! We saw and applaud it.

We do have a long way to go for gender equality. Whilst there are laws and we say alot, the reality and practice is sometimes disheartening. Perhaps as a woman who has grown up through the rise in feminism, I expected more by 2020. However, I suppose if my grandmothers were alive, they might think well when we were young, we weren't allowed the right to an education, we didn't own property and have rights like women today.

My hope is that the changes today are not just to appease the post-#MeToo viewers and diversity critics. We need more women and greater diversity of cultures in positions of power. Fairness in class, genders and different races is needed. It is a conversation which needs to be inclusive of everyone, including those who have benefitted from the patriarchal past and status quo. By 2030, let's see how far we progress towards greater equality.

You may also be interested in reading:

• Jennifer Lopez and Shakira sparkle at the Super Bowl
• Super Bowl Halftime Shows Ranked: From Worst to Best
• Superbowl Half-time Performances - Jackson versus Prince

To Tinder or Not to Tinder

Tinder, the dating app that let's singletons swipe left or right to find someone, announced a few weeks ago that it is being listed on the stock exchange. It's the app that everyone has heard of and now its makers are looking to cash in on it. Tinder's success is it's simplicity . It takes the basic principle of online dating that people are interested in looks first then personality second. You look at a photo, if you're interested, you can see more photos and if they have a bio you can learn a bit more about them. You are interested if you swipe right. The next step is essentially just like being in a bar, you fancy each other and start talking.

So I began my tinder journey two weeks ago. I'd heard it had become more than just a hook up facilitator and some people managed to find someone to have a relationship with. So I installed the app. It took forever for it to load up and I must admit I nearly uninstalled and abandoned the experiment. My patience paid off. I began swiping and within hours I had guys chatting to me. A week later I had four dates! It was so easy, too easy it seems.

So I've tried a few online dating websites. How does Tinder compare? It is quick and easy. It is a good way to meet new people and get back into dating. The guys I've met were interesting. Three out of four guys were easy to talk to. The one guy who was a bit quiet, actually seemed really easy to chat to online. In person though, it was a long date and we didn't have much in common.

Tinder is essentially a superficial and not serious way of finding someone. It seems like quite a lot of people have been doing it for years and there is tinder fatigue of sorts. They go through the motions of meeting people but they aren't really looking for a relationship. Some guys are upfront. One guy I chatted to online was in the porn industry in an open relationship. No thank you! At least he was upfront about it.

It is definitely skewed towards women being able to get a lot of dates. Guys are getting dates too but now they are making girls pay or go dutch because they are getting more dates and so unable to afford to seriously show interest in any one girl. They basically make a point to tell me I have to get the next drink which I happily do, though one guy refused when I offered to get the next round. Chivalry is certainly an admirable quality, though it's understandable that chivalry may die with tinder's success.

I've noticed that being on tinder, your attitude changes. You think there are so many guys out there and you care a bit less. You aren't too sensitive about dating and don't take it personally. These are strangers who have simply swiped left or right. There's no etiquette and no niceties about it all.

I decided to do a clean up of my match page by unmatching a number of guys. I wondered if they would get a message that I had unmatched them and felt a bit guilty. Should I message them and apologise? I googled whether they get a message and there is no notification. I read that some guys swipe right in front of the television. They only bother after they have been matched! So I guess there is no expectation that because you have matched with someone, they genuinely took an interest in you after they looked at your photos and profile. It is a bit sad that the rules of engagement aren't even followed because people are becoming too lazy to even do that. So I unmatched all the guys that I had matched with but not had any messages from or we had to stop messaging each other. Tinder is going to change the way men and women interact. Our society is playing loose and fast with finding sincere and genuine relationships. I suppose there will be other apps and online dating forums for those that are looking for something other than keeping busy every night. Perhaps I'm being cynical. There may be others like me who are giving tinder a go and feel that it could be a way to find a happily ever after.

Can Tinder change your life? Tinder's marketing team suggest it will. Well at least I know what it's all about now. It will certainly be great for those behind the app who will financially benefit from the IPO. So back to swiping right and left. Happy tindering!  

Entourage the Movie

Entourage the Movie comes out in UK cinemas this week. Vincent Chase and his boys are back, but now on the big screen. The critics have not been kind, the opening numbers in the US over the weekend have been disappointing and Jurassic World has just come out in the cinemas too.

 

Often compared to Sex and the City, Entourage depends on the public's fascination with Hollywood. The movie has been called misogynist and that seems to be the press' focus. I am looking forward to watching the movie. I am a fan of the series and was sad to see the series end. In fact, I've just re-watched all eight seasons of Entourage which is now available on Sky box sets. It's funny how many faces you now recognise.

 

It is true that the show is disturbing for all of its misogynist tendencies. The depiction of women has been deplorable, but then the representation of Hollywood and actors hasn't been particularly favourable either. I don't believe that Entourage is great for women in general but then I do believe that there is a lot of television out there which is not. These shows primarily target a male audience and perpetuate stereotypes. However, despite this, I still enjoyed watching it because I see it as light entertainment. I don't believe everything I see on it and I do like that it is about friendship, positive attitudes and finding success. I realise that it is a dramedy, so the characters are exaggerated - Ari Gold will stream vitriolic offensive abuse, Eric will be mocked for being a serious relationship guy and Vince's ego will help and hinder him in both his career and girls.

 

What doesn't work is that the movie is defending itself for being misogynist. It was a misogynist television show that fell out of favour. It became very politically incorrect and the show tried to address this by dialling everything back and not reconsidering what were the strengths, weakness and opportunities. Character development suffered and the scripts did too. What struck me about the first few seasons was how well crafted and constructed the scripts were. I cared about the characters and the story. Vincent Chase's swagger was reminiscent of John Travolta and the cameos were loads of fun. It was a feel good experience watching them.

 

Entourage the franchise has much going for it, but it needs to be injected with a certain freshness. I wondered how much input there was from women. The show has so much potential. They could have introduced a rival female entourage to counter and balance the male entourage. They could have brought the families and the boys' mothers into more plotlines. If they kept working on the jokes and story, the series could have continued for years and its stars might all have remained in the spotlight. The show failed to integrate the new world of the internet, social media and reality television. I wonder where the movie will take them and hope that it isn't a massive flop because they built some solid stories and characters over the eight years, which I hope will not disappear forever.   

 

Jeremy Piven's career remains solid with Mr Selfridge. Notably, seasons 7 and 8 of Entourage built Ari Gold's dimensionality, exploring him from many angles and left the impression he is a brilliant actor. However, the cast had a certain chemistry and that is not something you see much on television any more. There is a distinct lack of quality dramedy. HBO has done well to produce several popular television shows. Well done on Entourage.

 

Entourage opens in UK cinemas on 19 June.

 

You may also be interested in:

• The Guardian interview with the cast of Entourage about the movie
• Rotten Tomatoes for more views on Entourage the Movie

London Book Fair 2014 - Indie writers, social media and words of wisdom for aspriing writers

On Day 1 of the London Book Fair 2014, Indie Writers talked about making millions, publishers defended the longevity of print content and book sellers talked about reduced shelf space.

The exhibitor stands were busy. All the big publishing houses - Harper Collins, Penguin and Random House looked glossy.

Non-fiction, educational and international publishers were all there. Earl's Court was brimming with networking, deal making and seminars.



According to the indie writers, word counts are coming down as reader's attention spans become shorter. They crow about all the money they are making, that they don't want or need the traditional publishing route. They call themselves CEOs and are proud they retain control of book covers and pricing.

Self-published NY Times best seller, Bella Andre, talked about making business decisions. She's an authority on the book market, but also a woman who struggles with the challenges of balancing marketing and writing.

Social media was lauded for creating communities, helping marketing campaigns and a critical tool for all writers.

There was lots of wisdom sharing. Helen Dunmore who has successfully written poetry, children's and young adult fiction, talked about the trappings of researching. "It's easier to be a writer who researches than a writer who does a first draft," she says.

Usborne Deputy Fiction Director Annie Finnis says for children's books, they are looking for good writing and a set of characters the audience will identify with.

Deputy Editor of the Word Factory, Paul McVeigh's final words to aspiring writers is to write like you'll never write again, as if you'll die tomorrow. It could happen, he adds.

On that note, if you're a writer, get writing. If you're interested in the book industry, go to the London Book Fair 2014 which is from 8 April to 10 April this year.

The Hidden Talent in London's Local Music Scene

Tucked away behind busy Limehouse's Commercial Rd is a local London music spot in Cable Street Studios. I wasn't expecting much from the Jamboree Collective (www.jamboreevenue.co.uk/), but to my surprise thought this is the sort of place I could happily spend a Friday night.

I've gone to over a hundred music events in London and around the world. New Orleans is still one of my favourite places for brilliant music. Rio for Carnivale has the most amazing vibe. Word on the street these days though, is that London's local music scene is pretty awesome.

So people tell me about Dalston which is a hub of activity. I hear that for years Adele performed in her locals in south London. A friend mentioned this place called Jamboree and we thought we'd take a look.

What impressed me was the intimate surroundings and it was a change from the typical bars, pubs and clubs which litter the street. It was a great place to go for a drink and a bit of decent music. 

One artist in particular caught my attention. That night Josienne Clark shone briefly in her floral print dress. She was part of an ensemble country group. This girl, her voice was magic. 

In fact, the BBC think so too. According to her website, she is BBC Radio 2 Folk Award 2014 Nominees ‐ Best Newcomer (Horizon) and Best Duo.

Josienne Clarke is the sort of singer you stop and listen to. When you hear her singing live, you simply want more. Check her out. she has tge potential to be a star one day. Her website is - http://josienneclarke.co.uk/. 

Incidentally, there's all sorts of history and shenanigans at Cable Street Studios, where Jamboree resides. Timeout has written all about it. If you are interested,  take a look at - Time Out - Limehouse's Cable Street

London's local music scene is a change from the pubs, bars and clubs littered on every street. They're off the beaten track and they're usually by word of mouth. Whether you live in London or here on holiday, it's worth a night out in a local music spot.  Who knows what you might discover.

For other live London gigs, take a look at

• The Man That Makes Women Go Hmmm - Michael Buble O2 London 10 concerts 

• London loves the Black Eyed Peas – Hyde Park 

• Kings of Leon - Hyde Park 

The Voice UK Season 3 - Why We Love Kylie Minogue

The Voice UK

Thinter Voicein UK season 3 has been pulling in millions of viewers. What producers realised was that Simon Cowell's little secretyou wasn't that we want to see the next big artist or  karaoke renditions of pop songs. 

The Voice UK has got a diverse range of judges that appeal to different age groups and fans of Ms Minogue, an icon that brings a down to earth family quality to television, is the right ingredient.

The Minogue Factor

Minogue has been around for decades. She has a loyal fan base. Minogue captures the hearts of those that grew up with her. As one contestant said, she has been an inspiration. She is the girl next door who achieved success, but remains one of us. If you haven't guessed, I am a fan. 

In 2013,  she signed on to Jay Z's label. The Voice brings her back into the limelight, following sister Danii's footsteps. It's a brilliant move by Minogue to go back to television.  That's where she became a star. That's where she has an edge over artists. An audience of 10 million tuning in to see you every week and getting paid for it, with a new album on the way, she will be singing I should be so lucky all the way to the bank.

I was at Earls Court at one of her concerts shortly before her cancer diagnosis. Through her ups and downs in love and acting, trying to make it in the US, the little pop princess has kept her head held high and a smile on her face. Is it any wonder that the contestants all want her, even those who might be better fitted with other judges?

The Contestants

The contestants, though they lack the wow factor, are not so painful to watch and there is a certain genuine integrity that you feel this might be wholesome and undemanding viewing.

The Voice UK might not make one hit wonders. They don't have the money and marketing to make it happen.  But its audience doesn't feel it is being manipulated to call and vote for their favourite. It gives some new talent the opportunity to make their dreams come true. It is a show about hope and simply tries to make you feel good. Three cheers for going back to basics.

The Voice - looking forward

Minogue brings a fresh fun vibe to a show which was becoming a little tired. She can tone down her enthusiasm a little. The dynamic with the other judges works and that too is important. 

The contestants have room to grow and they are a good mix. The Voice UK is not compelling viewing yet. Bring in a few dynamite voices and personalities to shake it up. 

This season is on its way to becoming massively big.  Well done BBC. We love The Voice UK and Kylie Minogue so far - the ratings prove it.

You might also be interested in reading:

• The Hidden Talent in London's Local Music Scene 
• London loves the Black Eyed Peas – Hyde Park  

The Man That Makes Women Go Hmmm - Michael Buble O2 London 10 concerts

 

It’s not about the way he talks, the way he swaggers, that he looks great in a tux - it’s that Michael Buble sings about love. He sells romance and hope.

My favourite Heston things

I am a big fan of Hesto Blumenthal because he is a genius. When you feel like a kid again, excited like when you could have ice-cream - well that is truly special.

Dinner by Heston opened up in the Mandarin Oriental in London. I booked it for a special occasion and  it would be one of my top ten experiences for 2012. As soon as you step into the restaurant, the aromas jump start your evening and you can't wait to tuck in. Not all the dishes will blow your mind, but I have to say most of the ones we tried did. And even just reading the menu got me bouncing in my seat. After the starter I was thinking about when I could make my next reservation here. A special mention goes to the fruit meat, steak and tipsy cake, which were all divine.

But sadly Dinner is not a place I can frequent so I settle for buying the products he puts his name to in Waitrose, and these are all real treats - duck and sour cherry sausage, salted caramel popcorn and the popping candy chocolate tart especially. I even ate the famous Christmas pudding that sells for ridiculous amounts on ebay - in some cases hundreds of pounds and I don't even like fruit cake!

But Heston doesn't always shine. The Hinds Head Bray pub was overpriced and disappointing. And his tv shows lack pizazz. The man is not a God but he is still a superhero in my book. Who would have thought a lanky bald guy could be so great? May they write songs about him and be entered int the history books. Long live the Blum!

You may also want to read:

• Pierre Herme macarons - St Germain's master magician 
• Cakes shaped like bags and shoes with afternoon tea at the Berkeley.
• Paris - The Designer Fashion Capital of the World.
• The Paris Belleville AAB Art Festival
• London Royal Wedding 
• How to be frugal in London 
• Chocaholics Heaven - M&M world London 

Spot That Actor - Where Were They Before?

From Sex and the City to Heroes to Mad Men, these television actors have been around. They are the faces that look familiar but we've no idea their name, or may be we came across it once but discarded it as useless information.

How many of these names do you recognise and how many do you remember from their previous roles?

I take a look at some of the popular shows on television and the supporting actors and actresses and where they were before.

• John Slattery - Before he was Roger Sterling on Mad Men, he was Victor Lang on Desperate Housewives (married to Gabrielle).
• Barry Watson - Before he was Todd in Samantha Who?, he was Matt Camden in 7th Heaven.
• Bridget Moynahan - Before she was Erin Reagan in Blue Bloods, she was Natasha in Sex and the City (Mr Big’s wife).
• David Anders - Before he was John Gilbert on The Vampire Diaries, he was Julian Sark on Alias and Adam Monroe on Heroes.
• Gale Harold - Before he was law professor Julian Parish in Hellcats, he was Jackson Braddock in Desperate Housewives (Susan’s boyfriend) and Brian Kinney in Queer as Folk.
• Jane Leeves- Before she was Joy in Hot in Cleveland, she was Daphne Moon on Frasier.
• Jennifer Esposito - Before she was Detective Jackie Curatola in Blue Bloods (Danny’s partner), Stacy Paterno in Spin City (Mike’s assistant) and Andrea in Samantha Who? (Sam’s best friend).
• Kim Raver - Before she was Teddy Altman on Grey's Anatomy, she was Nico Reilly in Lipstick Jungle, Audrey Raines on 24 and Kim Zambrano on Third Watch.
• Lyndsy Marie Fonseca - Before she was Alex in Nikita, she was Colleen Carlton on The Young and The Restless, Dylan Mayfair on Desperate Housewives (Katherine’s daughter), and Ted Mosby's daughter on How I Met Your Mother.
• Chris Bauer - Before he was Detective Andy Bellefleur in True Blood, he was Fred Yokas (married to Faith) in Third Watch.
• Jane Lynch – Before she was Sue Sylvester in Glee, she was Dr. Linda Freeman in Two and a Half Men (Charlie’s therapist)
• Masi Oka – Before he was Max Bergman in Hawaii Five-0, he was Hiro Nakamura in Heroes.
• Melinda Clarke – Before she was Amanda on Nikita, she was Faith Taylor on Days of our Lives, Julie Cooper-Nichol on The O.C. and Lady Heather on CSI.
• Richard Kind – Before he was Paul Lassiter in Spin City, he was Dr. Mark Devanow in Mad About You.
• Rob Morrow – Before he was Don Eppes on Numb3rs , he was Dr. Joel Fleischman on Northern Exposure.
• Ron Rifkin - Before he was Saul Holden in Brothers & Sisters, he was Arvin Sloane on Alias.
• Samuel Page - Before he was Sam in Desperate Housewives (son of Rex Van de Kamp and stepson of Bree Hodge ) he was ADA Casey Woodland in Shark.
• Sarah Chalke – Before she was Stella Zinman on How I Met Your Mother, she was Dr. Elliot Reid on Scrubs and the "second Becky" on Roseanne.
• Sasha Alexander – Before she was Special Agent Kate Todd in NCIS, she was Gretchen Witter in Dawson's Creek (Pacey’s sister).
• Shemar Franklin Moore - Before he was FBI Special Agent Derek Morgan on Criminal Minds, he was Malcolm Winters on The Young and the Restless.
• Stephen Collins - Before he was Charlie in Brothers & Sisters (Saul’s boyfriend), he was Reverend Eric Camden on 7th Heaven.
• Amber Evangeline Valletta plays Lydia Davis on Revenge and she was Allegra Cole in the movie Hitch.
• James Remar is Dexter's dad but he played Samantha's on again off again tycoon boyfriend Richard in Sex and the City. 
• Holland Virginia Taylor was the cougar Judge Roberta Kittleson in The Practice and Charlie's Mum, Evelyn Harper in Two and a Half Men. 

Will any of these actors be big like George Clooney, afterall he came from television once upon a time - I'll leave you to ponder that question?

London loves the Black Eyed Peas – Hyde Park July 2011

On Friday 1 July, 2011 the Black Eyed Peas played a sell out concert of 65,000 people in London’s Hyde Park.The Black Eyed Peas are not just singers, they are artists and performers. They are what good music is all about. The crowd went crazy for Will when he DJed - he played some oldies, a little Michael Jackson and Usher too.

Kings of Leon - Hyde Park June 2011

The music festivals are a real treat in London. And tonight there was relief from the rain, that has plagued virtually every day of the last 3 weeks. The sun was out to welcome Kings of Leon to Hyde Park. It started at 8.30pm. Three encore songs ended the show at around 10.15pm. They ended with Use Somebody and had a small fireworks show. So get your cameras ready.

Food and drinks - There's KFC, McD and Pret near tube exit 1 of Marble Arch tube. In the venue they have donut stands, beer (of course) and plenty of other great concert food but you'll have to queue. At the entrance (closest to exit 3 of Marble Arch tube), they are searching bags to make people throw out water bottles and alcohol. Inside they remove caps from any bottles of soft drink / water you buy.

Memorabilia - The memorabilia stand has a few decent t-shirts for around £20. The credit card machine wasn't working, so bring cash if you want anything in case you do want to grab anything.

What to Wear? - It was cold so bring woolen socks, scarves, a wind proof coat and you might want to dance if you want to keep warm. Ponchos / raincoats might be handy too given the unpredictable and rainy  summer that we are having. Wellies are also a great investment (I heard Primark sold out) and if not, definitely flats. If it's been raining, the grass is super muddy and slippery. There's lots of discarded food on the ground and beer being spilt so be prepared to get your shoes and clothes dirty. Some guys unzipping and going to the toilet - totally uncool. 

Some girls were braving the cold in shorts and summer dresses. Lots of butt cracks, guys - buy a belt!  Mostly, people were casual, comfortable and dressing fairly warm.

There were a few big screens too so if you didn't want to be close to the stage, you could chill out, dance, have a picnic, sit and make a quick n easy get away for the tube at the end of the night. 

See also the Black Eyed Peas in Hyde Park. This time I was up near the stage and it was crazy! July 2011 Black Eyed Peas Hyde Park

Read How to be frugal - eating out and seeing the  real London, Battle of the London Tourist Attractions or Why London is Better than New York if you are visiting London.

See photoes and read - Special Prince William and Kate Middleton London Royal Wedding

Want to be healthy? Read Forget your personal trainer, try zumba, Top 5 tips to get stared on weight loss or Losing my detox virginity.

You may also be interested in Why we should all worry about the economy and what it mean for you

Enjoy Hyde Park if you are heading there to check out some of this summer's cool artists. Kings of Leon were brilliant and I'm sure that there will be much more fun to be had.

On Men - how strong, how noble, how brilliant, how courageous

She's famous for her novels Mrs Dalloway and To The Lighthouse. Nicole Kidman played her in the movie The Hours. Virginia Woolf's writing is not only for literary lovers and feminists, but is a great sojourn into history, particularly her short story A Society in Monday or Tuesday which provides an interesting read on men and women: