The Little Annoyances That Keep Us Awake

The 1 step backwards to see the 100 steps you've taken forward - the glass is never full. There's should have, could have, would have. 

So tonight I did the right thing and showed compassion & sensitivity. I have mixed feelings about the situation because it has made me doubt my way forward. 

Did I make a mistake? Perhaps. But then we all make mistakes. It's not the end of the world. It just means we learn hopefully from it, and are wiser in our decisions going forward. 

So the story is that I agreed something with someone. After doing it, they rescinded on the agreement. Fortunately it wasn't a huge amount of work, but still it was a precious few hours I could have spent on something else. I guess it makes a great anecdote to tell, one day. 

It was essentially a goodwill job for no payment. Honestly, why I do these, I don't know. It really isn't worth it. 

I guess I can't help but feel annoyed, naturally so. I won't make a big deal out of it. That's not my style. Does it make me weak? Is it frustrating trying to be a good person and not telling them this isn't ideal? 

The thing is, now I think that I no longer can move forward with other agreements I've made, as I've set the precedent they can rescind too. It's just become a waste of my time.

What are the positive?

1. It could have been worse.

2. I haven't really lost anything significant. 

3. Now I know agreements with this person are no longer credible. 

It confirms my hesitancy to move into this type of work. I took a risk and it didn't pay off today, but it is a useful example of what I can do. 

The reality is that the world is moving faster than many people are prepared for. They aren't able to cope with these changes. It's OK. I guess for my own sanity, I need to be aware of this as it can result in time wasting. I understand their point of view. It doesn't make me feel better though. As well, I can't sleep now because of it, which is even more annoying. 

I just needed to vent. I have to let it out, send it out and make my peace with it. Now back to trying to go to sleep.