Saturday, July 4, 2015

To Tinder or Not to Tinder

Tinder, the dating app that let's singletons swipe left or right to find someone, announced a few weeks ago that it is being listed on the stock exchange. It's the app that everyone has heard of and now its makers are looking to cash in on it. Tinder's success is it's simplicity . It takes the basic principle of online dating that people are interested in looks first then personality second. You look at a photo, if you're interested, you can see more photos and if they have a bio you can learn a bit more about them. You are interested if you swipe right. The next step is essentially just like being in a bar, you fancy each other and start talking.

So I began my tinder journey two weeks ago. I'd heard it had become more than just a hook up facilitator and some people managed to find someone to have a relationship with. So I installed the app. It took forever for it to load up and I must admit I nearly uninstalled and abandoned the experiment. My patience paid off. I began swiping and within hours I had guys chatting to me. A week later I had four dates! It was so easy, too easy it seems.

So I've tried a few online dating websites. How does Tinder compare? It is quick and easy. It is a good way to meet new people and get back into dating. The guys I've met were interesting. Three out of four guys were easy to talk to. The one guy who was a bit quiet, actually seemed really easy to chat to online. In person though, it was a long date and we didn't have much in common.

Tinder is essentially a superficial and not serious way of finding someone. It seems like quite a lot of people have been doing it for years and there is tinder fatigue of sorts. They go through the motions of meeting people but they aren't really looking for a relationship. Some guys are upfront. One guy I chatted to online was in the porn industry in an open relationship. No thank you! At least he was upfront about it.

It is definitely skewed towards women being able to get a lot of dates. Guys are getting dates too but now they are making girls pay or go dutch because they are getting more dates and so unable to afford to seriously show interest in any one girl. They basically make a point to tell me I have to get the next drink which I happily do, though one guy refused when I offered to get the next round. Chivalry is certainly an admirable quality, though it's understandable that chivalry may die with tinder's success.

I've noticed that being on tinder, your attitude changes. You think there are so many guys out there and you care a bit less. You aren't too sensitive about dating and don't take it personally. These are strangers who have simply swiped left or right. There's no etiquette and no niceties about it all.

I decided to do a clean up of my match page by unmatching a number of guys. I wondered if they would get a message that I had unmatched them and felt a bit guilty. Should I message them and apologise? I googled whether they get a message and there is no notification. I read that some guys swipe right in front of the television. They only bother after they have been matched! So I guess there is no expectation that because you have matched with someone, they genuinely took an interest in you after they looked at your photos and profile. It is a bit sad that the rules of engagement aren't even followed because people are becoming too lazy to even do that. So I unmatched all the guys that I had matched with but not had any messages from or we had to stop messaging each other. Tinder is going to change the way men and women interact. Our society is playing loose and fast with finding sincere and genuine relationships. I suppose there will be other apps and online dating forums for those that are looking for something other than keeping busy every night. Perhaps I'm being cynical. There may be others like me who are giving tinder a go and feel that it could be a way to find a happily ever after.

Can Tinder change your life? Tinder's marketing team suggest it will. Well at least I know what it's all about now. It will certainly be great for those behind the app who will financially benefit from the IPO. So back to swiping right and left. Happy tindering!  

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