The Power of You - self belief, dream slayers and life changers

I am. I can. I will.

The power of language, belief and you.

We live in a world of nay sayers, who push us down and foster our self doubt. They say the odds are against us. It is one in a million. They are the dream slayers, destroying our hopes and taking away our purpose.

Those that dared to dream or to create change rose above all of that. Those who succeeded did not accept failure.

As 2019 comes to an end, think about what is your mindset. Who is bringing you down and who is supporting you? What sort of life do you want to live and how will you make it happen? 

Summer Ducklings - music, videos and instagram posts

How did I end up staying up all night to make a video and create music?

City gardening - growing, regrowing and small successes

Cornflower 

City gardening on a balcony has its small pleasures. A few years ago I decided that I wanted to grow flowers instead of spending money buying them from the supermarket. For years, I've tried seeds, bulbs and already grown plants, but my success levels have been variable.

Peace - To The Lighthouse

Then indeed peace had come. Messages of peace breathed from the sea to the shore. 

~ To The Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf.

I love many books, but I truly admire To The Lighthouse. I remember thinking how brave Woolf was in the way she took risks with her characters, structure, story and use of stream of consciousness. 

This book and passage which I have quoted seemed particularly appropriate. Last week I heard some sad news. This week I witnessed great bravery.

Some losses that we face are much harder than others. There are times when we can't be happy and that is fine. Life has its ups and downs, like the ebb and flow of the waves. It is as if we are being tossed about at sea. The storm will pass and we need to keep our head above water. A blind wolf in the darkness fighting. Then the calm comes.

I have always believed in the power of words. The reality is that words sometimes fail to convey how we feel and we can only offer small gestures - gifts, hugs and lending a hand. May be that is enough.

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful:
The Lord God made them all.

 - All Things Bright and Beautiful by Cecil F. Alexander, pub.1848

Or sometimes it is a song that will carry much more meaning. Such simplicity in the lyrics and melody. It is a lovely hymn. It reminds us of creation. There is a fragility, hopefulness and yet it can also bring tears, though I'm not sure why.

I feel at peace when I sing and I feel peace when I hear the sound of waves lapping onto the shore.

London's Borough Market - Happy Foodie Heaven

Borough market is where all foodies take other foodies. The aroma, excitement, anticipation and mouthwatering sights of all sorts of treats make this one of the premiere places for indulgence and pleasure.

Oysters - Way Too Many Health Benefits

Oysters at London's Borough Market

Oysters are famously known as an aphrodisiac, but did you know about the crazy long list of health benefits if you eat them?

Here goes:

Brexit - The Drama Continues

The Prime Minister has resigned and uncertainty over Brexit continues. Trust in politicians, government and the media are low.

The debate continues to focus on immigration and racism versus the elite. The blame game is in full force. It fails to recognise that it is a complex situation and we need to try to understand both sides. Inequality is certainly a key aspect of the consequences of neo-liberal democracy, but that really isn't a sexy topic and no one wants to focus on that sort of gloom.

Dulwich Artist Open House Festival

At the Dulwich artist open house festival, you meet London artists while exploring their work, studios and homes. 

Cheap and Rewarding Gardening in Spring in London

Home grown freesias on my balcony - April 2019

With spring here, gardening is a cheap, relaxing and fun way to spend your time. It could also save you money in the long run, afterall, how much do you spend on flowers, vegetables and herbs?

If you love flowers, seeing them bloom one day can warm your heart and brighten up your day. The first bloom of freesias really cheered me up. I think they are freesia, because I vaguely remember buying some seeds or bulbs from M&S last year and they've only popped up this month.

Plant growing on my balcony - June 2018

It is satisfying seeing something grow or rebloom. It is that feeling of success that's not validation from your boss or instagram likes.  It also feels like you are helping the planet.

Orchids reblooming April 2019 - this never happens until now ...

I've found some great tips online about:

• getting free garden stuff,
• creating compost with food scraps, which is great for the environment and you just need paper, a ziplock bag and scraps (I didn't know there's so many things you can compost - see these 100 things),
• using things around the home as containers to grow stuff,
• diy fertiliser and I love the ideas for using banana peels in different ways (check out frugal chicken's website),
• creating a greenhouse with plastic bags over seeds in containers,
• regrowing vegetables and herbs from scraps and supermarket bought roots like garlic, ginger, carrots, onions and coriander (see these article on foods that regrow and food revolution.org), and
• you can even grow seeds in a paper towel and I love that you can do it with a plastic bag!

Did you know you can grow kiwi trees from the seeds from supermarket bought fruit? I love the idea of growing a tree on my balcony.

I'm also intrigued with vines and things that can grow big quickly and easily - like sunflowers and morning glory. I've grown sunflowers before but this time I have giant 2m ones I'm trying. I don't really have big pots or space, but I'll see how it goes. Morning glory sound fun and my seeds germinated after 3 days with a quick soak, scratch then paper towel.

It's amazing all the information around and how much you can learn.

Poundland has been great for picking up cheap supplies. Lidl has some cheap plants and B&Q is great too. Of course there's Amazon and Robert Dyas are great for convenience if you're a Londoner.

Shopping on the high street, can be cheaper and easier at times.

Poundland update their stock with a variety of tools and plants. I'm trying to grow raspberries and roses this year. Recently I bought add water to make compost packs. These will likely be good for growing lavendar.

B&Q have a great range of reasonably priced potted plants. It's limited what they deliver, but in store is great for a browse and bargain. The other week I saw potted roses in Lidl for £1.99.

Robert Dyas has an array of seeds which identify perrenials from annuals. In the past, I've had luck with their cherry tomatoes and am trying again this year. I've lots if little seedlings crowding window sills at the moment.  Though I've not scored gardening bargains at RD, I did find a slow cooker on sale for £7.92 which has been a brilliant addition to my life.

Amazon seems to be good for large bags of compost as there's only so many £1 for 10 litre bags I can lug from Poundland. 

Temple Garden in London on a rainy April day

London's Regent's Park - 395 acres

In London and living in any city, it's important to get back to nature and find a little calm. Balconies, window sills, allotments or even volunteeering somewhere can be rewarding and cost very little.

Greenhouse at The Pig hotel, Dorset

If you're outside of London, there are many lovely places to visit. I love The Pig in Dorset which has yummy food and a gorgeous garden.

Roses discovered on a walk - June 2018

There's parks all over London which is one of the many things I love about this city. Victoria Park has some lovely roses and the canals also are a treat with wild flowers. Even walking around, you'll find all the gems planted by people. It's a great way of being present and practising mindfulness for a healthy body and mind.

Potted tulips near the gardener's yard at Inner Temple Garden  

Regent's Park April bloom

Happy gardening or else, please enjoy the beautiful gardens around you next time you are out and about - I recently visited Inner Temple Garden for the first time and Regent's Park which I haven't been to in ages.

A London park - squirrels, strangers and stories

Humans are outnumbered by the squirrels in the park today. There must be a dozen - chasing each other, hanging upside down from a branch, tarzan leaping to another tree, sizing me up if I might possess nuts and furrowing among the daffodils.

Lent - what would or could you give up and what does it mean?

Today is the first day of Lent - a period where you give up something for 46 days from Ash Wednesday.

Pancake day - easy pancakes 3 ways for breakfast, lunch and dessert

Today is Pancake day! I celebrated it a few days ago for several days and it was most enjoyable.

The war on plastic - but what about cigarettes?

The world has declared war against plastic. It is seen as our enemy and it seems that there is a massive campaign to remove it from our lives. It is blamed for the impending global warning doom for man kind. Convenience is an excuse and use of it is seen as shameful and we are morally guilty now. It is the new urgent.

The Cronut at Dominique Ansel Bakery London

I've finally tasted the world famous Cronut, the creation of Chef Dominique Ansel who was also named the World’s Best Pastry Chef of 2017. The croissant-donut hybrid was launched in May 2013, went viral and was deemed one of the best inventions of the year by TIME Magazine.

Each month, there is one flavour of the Cronut. For January, the flavor is Date & Butterscotch, so the pastry is filled with a homemade date ganache and creamy butterscotch ganache. Check out the DAB website for the flavour of the month and other menu items. 

The Dominique Ansel Bakery London opened in September 2016. The closest tube station is Victoria. So it's convenient if you're taking a coach trip from Victoria Coach station, seeing Hamilton, going to Gatwick from Victoria station or visiting Buckingham Palace.

I'd read there were massive queues and the cronut sells out. On a cold wintery Sunday at 4pm, they still had cronuts and we waited less than 10 minutes. 

What's my verdict on the cronut? It would probably be more mind blowing in the morning just after coming out of the oven. The butterscotch ganache oozed out each time I cut into it. The ganache was lovely and light. The pastry itself didn't really wow me though. 

Would I go back to the bakery again? Sure! I'd love to try the watermelon self serve in the summer. Keep in mind however, it is a pretty pricey outing going to DAB. You pay more to eat-in so get it takeaway if you want to save a bit. 

DAB began in NYC. There are bakeries in London, LA and Tokyo.  When Ansel is in London, he's 'exploring the breadth of restaurants the city has to offer,' he says in an interview with Business Insider. You know ansel's cronut is worthy of trying because there's copycats and variations, but whether they surpass the original remains to be seen. 

Can 2019 be the year we beat mental health?

Our knowledge and understanding about mental health continues to improve with more open discussions around the subject.

It is the growing crisis of our modern world as we become more extreme in our hobbies, beliefs and ideas.

We live so much in our heads and no longer balance our time with healthy physical pursuits like walking, playing and exercising. Just think how much time is at a desk, in front of the tv, on your smart phone, playing computer games or drinking / eating.

We need more reminders to be kind to ourselves, to remember that our health is important - both physically and mentally.

I've included a link to the Metro newspaper's 13 Mental Health Resolutions.

Two other interesting articles I just came across is about shrinking brains and anxiety in a recent study written in the Daily Mail. This led me to read up on how to increase your brain size. Interestingly, many of these are already recommended for depression and anxiety. 

Wishing you a very happy and healthy 2019!

A stranger's child hit me

This afternoon in the supermarket, a stranger's child hit me in the stomach. I cried out in shock and pain.

The child was around 3 or 4 years old as she was sturdy on her feet but not that big. I had been browsing the vegetable aisle of an upmarket city supermarket mid week during the day. It was in a business area that is not usually frequented by mothers with young children.

The mother called her child to her. She did not acknowledge what her child did or reprimand her behaviour or insist on an apology. Perhaps she didn't see it. Or she was embarassed.

I hesitated. Should I confront the mother? Do I cause a scene. Typically, everyone around us ignored it in the usual English way and carried on.

I wondered what is the right response here. Certainly children should not be permitted to behave in this way. The incident bothered me all the way home.

Has our society and parenting standards resulted in little monsters and hooligans? What would have happened if my hot chocolate had been knocked out of my hand and burnt the child? What if my response had been to push or slap her back?

I thought about a television series that I had seen called The Slap. A parent disciplines another person's child at a family bbq. The consequences include a lawsuit, a breakdown of relationships and a questioning of what is good parenting.

I'm home and now feeling a little angry at the child, the mother and myself. So I turned to my friend Google.

It seems aggression in children is not an unusual phenomenon. Typically it occurs in the park or playground with other children being the victim. Another common trait seems to be children hitting their parents. When it has involved an adult, it is clear that the adult is breaking the law if they smack, slap or hit a child back.

Whatever the child's reason for striking a stranger, whether it be attention, behavioural issues or poor parenting, I do think parents have a responsibility here. Anyone who is physically harmed should have some recourse.

After reading numerous different websites, I did sympathise with parents tired of reprimanding their children. Young children are exhausting. I have been around many of them, though none as brazen or violent as this. I don't believe in a nanny state, but I do believe parents need to respect others when they take children out into public spaces. If they do not teach their children what is appropriate and manage aggression, it is not the job of teachers and society to pick up the slack.

One woman jokingly (or not) writes online about how she is grateful to strangers who verbally reprimand her child for her. While it is somewhat humorous, it is also sad that it has come to this.

It makes me wonder about the world we have become and the life we are living. Why are we too tired to do our jobs? Why do we no longer take seriously the trend in both child and adult behaviour - the lack of respect for others, kindness and consideration.

If I polled friends with kids and those without, I expect their responses to be quite different. Some would be more outraged than others. There are some who would consider the child's actions unacceptable. There are others who might be more understanding. For some reason, I think that 30 or 100 years ago, this sort of thing wouldn't happen.

Then I think this is not a big deal. It doesn't matter. This isn't really my problem.